Sometimes UNSAID GOODBYE is the BEST thing to do

I know... Been awhile guys... 2 months of not blogging and writing... I have my reasons...

Anyway, I'm back and hope you guys are ready to rock and roll again!

Today, I decided to share a goodbye story - A story close to my heart.

I have the tendency to be clingy and dependent. At least I submit to that fact. More often than not, I find myself in the verge of insanity when the person I'm "seeing" doesn't call, text or "make paramdam". Only to find out that they have all the rightful reasons to do so because of the fact that people indeed get caught up with their daily responsibilities like work, family etc. Having said that, I give myself too much unnecessary worries in life which can result to wrinkles, you know how it is.LOL

I had a rough weekend, I must tell you. Rough because it's a weekend full of crappy things. And one of those things is the "unsaid goodbye"

I'm not sure if you all understand what I meant by "unsaid goodbye" Let me just put it this way, I'm sure you guys are familiar with "better left unsaid" situations. It's kinda like that, except it's goodbye. Goodbye that you didn't utter and say.

A good friend once said: "We know when it's over, we just have to come to terms with the fact that it is...." I guess he is right. No words, no sentences, no explanations, no courtesy needed. It's done. It's over.

Of course, there's no party without broken glasses. After each party, we clean up, we rest and prepare for the next one.

So, that's my "unsaid Goodbye" ....

Hugs,
Morrise

My Love Affair with Beauty Pageants...

"Mabuhay! My name is Deena Lee Go, 24 years of age, From the land of isaw (pig intestines) and balut (underdeveloped chicken egg) the Filipins!

I am a huge fan of Beauty pageants! And I mean huge! Like humongous! Not only I am a fan but I have developed this love affair with beauty pageants since birth hahahaha. Let me explain why I said LOVE AFFAIR. Di ba mga day, pag in love to the max kayo you do almost everything kahit na stupid??? Ganun di ako with pageants. Anjan na yung umabsent sa classes at sa work, injanin ang mga friends, hindi siputin ang job interview, fight with your brother or sister para hawak nyo ang remote ng tv during the pageant telecast, dumayo sa kabilang baranggay para mapanoond sa cable ang live telecast hindi yung delayed telecast sa local channel 9 at I'm sure kung ano ano pa ang pwede kong ilista dito! So in short - In LOVE talaga ako!

Today, I decided to write down some reasons why I am IN LOVE with Beauty Pageants.

1. Appreciation of Beauty
Mga day, small kid palang ako may good sight na ako ng beautiful at ng chaka doll! Ako ang numero uno critique ng mother nature ko when it comes to make up and dresses! It translated sa fascination ko with girls parading in their swimsuits and evening gowns. Don't get me wrong, I'm not switching teams here! I just like seeing beautiful girls do that - simple lang! It's human nature mga kabaro, hindi ba? We love beautiful things - clothes, shoes, make-up, perfume, jewelry, etc. Beauty goes beyond the limits of if not everything almost everything from gender, sexual orientation, race, color, etc.

2. Patriotism
Oh my dear! I may be living my life in the US right now but damn I love my country! That is the Philippines. We have so many things we can be proud of. A stand out is our NATURAL BEAUTY! Most specially that of our WOMEN! Triumphs in Beauty Pageants offer pride, celebration and unity in NATIONAL LEVEL. Then you start telling the whole world: "Maganda Kame! Kayo Hindi! Yun lang!"

3. Dream (could be a nightmare! hahaha)
Hay naku day, sino bang hindi nag dream ever na makasali sa beauty pageant be it - Ms. Barrangay, Ms. Kanto, Ms. Talipapa??? Lalo na siguro pag Ms Universe, Miss World, Miss International and many other major pageants! Aminin nyo, dumating yung time na solo nyo ang room nyo or yung bahay nyo at mega rampa kayo sa sala pretending to be a contestant sa beauty pageant with matching the beauty queen hand wave and plastic crown!!! Aminin nyo! hahahaha. Oh well, some of us find a bit of satisfaction seeing other people live our dreams. Aba! Wala naman masamang mangarap! Wag lang bangungot, di bah?

4. Sense of Wonder
How does it feel to be a beauty queen? What are the perks of being one? What's their beauty secret? What do they eat? At lahat na ng WHAT-WHEN-WHERE-HOW Questions. Right?

5. We are in it for the experience
"Pasok sigurado ang Filipins sa Top 10!", "Miss Photogenic sureness tayo this year!", "Ayan na tatawagin na si Ms Filipins!" "Ay, di pasok ang Filipins? Madaya! Luto ang laban!" And other comments and things we say as we watch the pageant. We share the experience, the emotions and the hopes of everyone. It's an experience - a good one for that matter!

And this is my LOVE AFFAIR with Beauty Pageants.

Hugs,

Morrise

Job Interviews: How to do well!

Salut Mon Ami!

I have mixed feelings for this coming weekend. Why? I am so looking forward for this weekend so I can do my long overdue apartment general cleaning. Hay naku mga day, New Year pa nung nag vacuum ako ng magic carpet ko! We are expecting a major snow storm this friday that will last till Saturday. So mega shovel ng snow sa harap ng apartment ang magiging drama ng beauty ko come sat or sunday.

Anyway, today I want to share some bits of advice on Job Interviews - on how to do well and on how to leave good impressions. Mga day, importante na sa interview pa lang eh karirin nyo na to the max! As in to the max!

O sya mga day, pencils and papers ready?

BEFORE INTERVIEW DAY!

1. Call (or e-mail) a day before your interview to confirm your schedule and attendance.
Kung nate-text nyo ng one month in advance ang friend nyo to remind them ng utang nya sa inyo eh mga day, pick up the phone and call the HR person to confirm your interview schedule and attendance. Mega raise ng hands and say present! This is viewed as courtesy. And sometimes dahil ang mga HR people ay may pagka-busy, they forget to inform people about re-scheduling ng interviews. So it works on your end na din to know kung tuloy ang interview nyo. Baka mamaya, naka ball gown kayo with matching miss universe make-up only to find out na next year na pala ang next interview schedule mo!

2. Read about the company!
Day, kung napagtitiisan nyong basahin ang blog ko that means kaya nyong pagtiisan basahin ang facts about the company na pinag-aaplayan nyo. Read about their history, mission and vision, products, profile ng mga bosses, competitors, chismis about sa company, chismis tungkol sa boss (charing lang). In short, come with ample knowledge about the company so mega relate kayo sa mga sasabihin ng interviewer nyo at para hindi kayo mukhang aanga-anga!

3. Read and understand the job description!
O mga totoy at neneng! Alam nyo ba ang ina-aplayan nyong trabaho at position? Alam myo ba ang requirements ng position. Naiintindihan nyo ba ang description ng job? Ma-eexplain nyo ba sa Interviewer in your own words pag tinanong kayo kung ano ang nature ng job na mega apply kayo. Baka mamaya Secretary position ang ina-aplayan nyo eh sa Security Guard post kayo mapunta!

DURING THE DAY OF INTERVIEW!

1. Dress Properly!
Hay naku mga day! I couldn't emphasize more the importance of your appearance during the interview! Sure at tama nga siguro si Pilisopo Tasyo about: "Don't judge the book if you're not a judge!" I mean "Don't judge the book by its cover!" pero purdyospursanto mga day, dress accordingly naman during your interview! Basics for Boys: Long Sleeves, Slacks pants, Leather shoes with matching office socks ha at hindi yung pang basketball nyo lintek kayo! Just in case, bring a tie para if ever na mejo pormal pormalan ang interviewer nyo, hindi kayo left behind. Basics for Girls: Skirts or slack pants, nice formal top, nice pair of shoes! Mga girls utang na loob, tantanan nyo na ang pagsusuot ng half slip paired with skirts! Pag pahingahin nyo na si Maria Clara in you! Kung hindi kayo sure sa isusuot nyo for your interview, take a picture send nyo sa email ko at morriseDOTdiangATgmail.com for my comments. I'll tell you kung approve or ligwak!

2. Arrive 30 minutes before your Interview Time!
No Filipino Time allowed mga lintsak kayo! Why arrive half an hour early? Duh? Para hindi kayo late! Obvious ba? Coming late for interviews is VERY unacceptable. If I were the interviewer, I'll ask you to go home and pray the rosary! Aba day! Kapal fes pag late ka sa interview mo. Wa ako care kung ma-traffic, naligaw ka, at kung ano-ano pang kamalasan ang sasabihin mo! When you come half an hout early, it will give you the time to do the following: make-up re-touch for girls, drain your gall bladder, i-text si jowa and MOST IMPORTANTLY to compose yourself and relax! Hindi kayo hagardous ever!

3. Smile, greet and shake-hands.
Smile though your heart is aching sabi nga ng isang song! When you smile, it shows a bit of your personality. It calms the other person and yourself too. It offers a ground for a good conversation. So mega show kayo ng bugs bunny teeth nyo mga day. Wag naman ngiting kabayo!
Greet. Always be the first to greet! Always! Say: "Good morning/afternoon/evening Mr. Chuvalou. How are you?" And when the interviewer replies and asks you the same thing say: "Pakialam mo! Charing lang! Reply: "I'm very well thanks for asking."
Shake Hands. Eto mga day ang never ever forget nyong gawin! Extend your hand for a hand shake! And in doing so, please guys do me a huge favor! DO IT FIRMLY! Not the lousy shake hands na parang matamlay pa kayo sa may sakit na kabayo! It shows your confidence and sincerity when you shake hands firmly. And while doing it, look him/her in the eye. Hindi yung nasa kisame kayo nakatingin! Finally, wait till he/she asks you to take a seat.

4. Communicate
Interview is a form of communication. You know that communication is a two-way street. Parang mag-jowa yan eh! Make the interview interesting by asking questions about the company, the job description, etc. Ok, when I say ask something it doesn't mean na ask na lang kayo ng ask! Make sure your questions are relevant sa existing topic ng interview nyo. Refrain from a YES or NO answer. Mga day, chuchugihin ko agad kayo pag ang mga sagot nyo sa tanong ko ay YES, YES, YES, NO, NO, NO... Aba, learn to expound and express your thoughts.Pero, pero, pero! Don't be an eager-beaver mga day ha. Wag masyado madaldal! Don't "overexpress". Be precise yet clear with your answers. Sa tagalog: TUMBUKIN NYO! Remember this: When an interviewer asks you to tell him/her about yourself, what he meant is something about you that makes him/her want to hire you in respect to the job position. Don't reply by saying: "I'm a simple person, I like shopping, I like going to malls and Luneta, all those cutesy cutesy things about you!" If he asks you about your hobbies then go kayo! Mega pa-impress kayo like you play golf, you ride horses, you play tennis etc! Charing!

5. Thank you and Shake Hands.
So after ng Interview at mga kapalpakan na pinagsasabi nyo during the interview eh may I say THANK YOU kayo. Thank him/her for the time and attention. Then do not forget to Shake his/her hand again!

AFTER THE INTERVIEW

1. Run to the closest Hallmark store o sa pinas eh National Bookstore
...and buy agad ng Thank You Card! Send it sa nag-interview sa inyo. Wag na mag write ng nobela sa card. Just put the name of the person who interviewed you and sign in your name. Tapos!

2. Follow Up Call (if necessary!)
Mga day, magpalipas naman kayo ng ilang araw bago mag follow-up. Like 2 years! Charing lang! Some companies tell you right off the bat kung kelan sila release ng decisions! Otherwise, call them after say 5 days after your interview to learn the bad news yourself...hahahaha charing lang! Be polite and be professional! Pag good news ayan, celebrate ka! Pag bad news, aba eh bagsakan mo na ng telepono! NO! Say Thank you still and put the phone down then start cursing them to death! hahahaha.

O ayan mga girls and boys! Sana eh makahanap na kayo ng work ng makatulong naman kayo sa economy ng bansa nyo at lalong lalo na sa bulsa ng mga magulang nyo! hahahahaha

If you have questions, feel free to email me at: morriseDOTdiangATgmail.com

Hugs,
Morrise

From the Expensive Table and Chair of Yours Truly... When to Say: "I LOVE YOU!"

Hello mga day!

Kumusta na kayo? Namiss nyo ko? Sensya na kc long weekend dito sa merika dahil Araw ng Pangulo nila. So rest to the max si Morrise at mega lamyerda. Anyway, it's Tuesday indeed! So here's my TWM entry for today: When to say "I LOVE YOU, Wo ie Ni, Mahal Kita, Je t'aime, Te amo, Kimi o ai shiteru at kung ano ano pang mga lenguahe na alam nyo"

Madalas nyo ba sabihin ang L word (hmmm hindi Libido)??? Mini-mean nyo ba itech mga kapanalig? Na-ask nyo na ba ang self nyo (I feel like Kris Aquino here) kung dapat nyo na ba sabihin ang mga salitang ites??? Kung hindi pa, eh aba tigilan nyo na ang pag sasabi nyan at baka kayo eh mapikot!!! Charos lang! Pero mga day, dapat sa buhay buhay naten eh alam natin kung kailan sasabihin ang mga salitang "I LOVE YOU..."

Para sa mga nagliligawan... (lalong lalo na sa kalye! charing lang)

Maybe I'm not in the position para bigyan kayo ng mga payo tungkol sa ligawan mga kapanalig. Dahil sa maraming kadahilanan na ren na hindi ko na sasabihin! Magtiis kayo! hahahaha. Anyway, kung ang ligawan na pinag-uusapan natin ay ang ligawan like you know, getting-to-know each other, lunch dates, merienda dates, dinner dates at isama mo na midnight snack dates eh matutulungan ko kayo jan! O sige mga day, given the fact na kayo ay dating one month, two months, three months, 50 years! Kelan ba dapat mag I LOVE YOU? Ang sagot ay simple lamang: Aba, kayo ang nakaka-alam nyan! Ako ba ang nakikipag-date mga day??? Ngunit subalit datapwat!!! May ilang mga puntos na dapat nyong tanungin sa sarili nyo bago isuko ang PUSOn este PUSO!

Pencil and Papers ready?
1. Alam nyo na ba ang buong pangalan ng sasabihan nyo ng L word??? Kasama ang 2nd name, middle name at mga suffixes na naka-attach sa pangalan nya like, the 3rd, the 4th, the 20th, Jr, Sr. ba sya??? (Aba day, baka mamaya kapatid pala ito ni Osama eh, mag-isip ka!)
2. Alam mo ba ang bertdey ng future sakit ng ulo mo este future bf/gf? Hoy! Importante ito! Why? Dahil kailangan nyo i-consult kay madam Auring ang compatibility ng Astrological signs nyo! Charos! Pero wag ka, meron ako kilala na kailangan daw ang maging bf nya -Sagitarrian! Seriously, dapat naman siguro alamin nyo kung kelan ipinanganak ang magiging syuta nyo!Ng sa ganun naman eh ma-estimate nyo kung hanggang kelan sya mabubuhay kung sakaling magkatuluyan kyo ano! Baka mamaya day, 4 years na lang eh mag gu-goodbye Philippines na ang bf/gf nyo!
3. Alam mo na ba ang payborit kulay nya? Well not really his/her favorite color in particular but things that he/she likes! Day ang operative word dito ay COMPATIBILITY! Meron ba kayong commonalities in terms of what you both like. Like nyo ba pareho na mag-malling while HHWW, ang mamasyal sa Luneta, ang kumain ng halo-halo? Pareho nyo din bang like manood ng xtube este ng youtube? Basta kailangan meron kayong similarities sa mga likes nyo. This is the same reason kung bakit di nag work-out ang relationship namen ni Matthew Mcconaughey, dahil type nya na laging naka topless, ako ang type ko yung shortless!
4. Na-view na ba sya ng family mo? NOTE: Family not friends! Mga day, itong number 4 ay para lamang sa mga legal nang makipag-date! Hindi yung patago! Ligwak kayo! Naku madaming violent reaction dito pero sa aken mga day, kailangan muna ma-view ng mommy sharon at daddy gabby ko (si KC ako eh) ang future bf ko! Why? Come on now and this may sound like a cliche' but really, PARENTS know best! So may I value ko ang mga inputs nila!
5. Na-introduce na ba kayo sa mga friendship? Hay naku mga day! Importante ito! Trust me, madami akong alam na potential relationships na naudlot dahil sa mga objections ng friendships. I know, i know sasabihin nyo: "Eh baket, mga friends nya ba ang pakikisamahan ko?" I'll tell you the answer: YES! Admit it or not, i-factor in nyo ang mga friends mga day. Syempre sa umpisa lang naman. Aba eh kung sa tingin nyo ay talagang mahal nyo ba ga eh mega suyo muna sa friends. Like ipag-igib nyo ng tubig, ipagluto nyo, ipag-sibak ng panggatong, hiluran nyo ang mga friend nya! In short, build a rapport with his/her friends! Ok?
6. Warning: Adult Contents! Ayan ha, may warning ako mga kapanalig ha! Musta naman ang sexcapades nyo? Mga day, Importante din ito! Kung sa umpisa pa lang eh mejo di nyo na type ang kalaguyo nyo eh mega dump na agad! Yung mga pa-demure epek jan, please lang don't give me this bullshit: "Hindi lang naman sex ang importante eh!" Sa huli day, you'll end up looking for something better! And of course you are right, hindi lang ito ang importante but don't scratch it out of your list of considerations.
7. Ultimately, you should ask yourself kung alam mo ba ang commitment, loyalty, trust associated with I LOVE YOU. Pag alam mo and ready ka, i say: GO FOR IT GIRLS and BOYS!!!

Ito ay mga suggestions at puntos lamang po na isinulat at nagmula sa mamahaling table and chair ko...hahahaha... Sabi nga nila: "Different strokes for different folks..."

Hugs,
Morrise

How do you to tell a friend that he or she has Halitosis???

Good Morning mga day!

It's 1:33am na here sa US pero gising pa ang beauty ko! Why? Jet Lag ito mga day at kakauwi ko lang galing trabaho mula sa Sweden so todo to the max blog para me mabasa naman kayong magandang artikulo hindi puro Xerex na lang kayo! hahahaha

Anyway day, so arrive ako from Sweden. So since out of the country ang mudra nyo for a week. May I payag ako na yung friend ko muna ang maging care taker ng kotseng kuba ko. Mega hatid ako sa airport and kanina nga eh mega sundo nya din akech with matching 1 foot of red carpet pa!

My friend is a pretty girl, of course mana sa aken eh. She is pretty smart too for a blonde girl (hahahaha). However mga day, eh and friend kong ito na itatago na lang naten sa pangalang DINA LEE GO eh may Halitosis o oral malodor o sa tagalog eh mabaho ang hininga!

At alam ko na na-experience o kaya eh nai-experience nyo ang mga taong ganito! Kaya join forces tayo mga kapatid sa pagsugpo ng baho hininga gang! Are you with me? Let's VOLT IN!!! YES!

So si Dina Lee Go picked me up at the airport. I was very tired from my flight and didn't get much sleep sa airplane. And the last thing I needed that time was some breath of a fresh imburnal! Josko day, ito pang si Dina eh mahilig mang beso at she talks really close to me kulang na lang mag kapalit ang fes namen! So in short mga kapanalig eh sagap ko lahat ang simoy ng hangin na lumalabas sa kanyang bibig!

Ituloy naten ang kwento, so nasa car na kame. Yes! It's my chance na para di na sya maging close sa mukha ko pero mali ako mga day! Tuloy ang ratsada ng bibig ng loka loka! And of course ang kotse ay sarado ang mga windows dahil -12 degress Celcius lang naman ang temp. Pero mga day, dahil di ko kinaya ang amoy sa car binuksan ko ang window at pretend ako na naiinitan and she started closing it kc daw nilalamig sya. She closed the window, I opened it again, she closed it, I opened it, she closed it, I opened...

Finally after 35 minutes of excruciating pain (hahahaha), we have arrived! Ngunit subalit datapwat mga day, hindi dito natatapos ang kalbaryo ko with DINA. She volunteered and picked up my luggage sa trunk and started walking towards the elevator sa building ko. Sumama pa sa apartment ko ang lintsak. Korek, nasa elevator kameng dalawa and mega chika pa den ang bruha. Imagine yun???

So may I insert ako ng card key ko! Mga day, the moment na nag-click yung door ko, mega run ang lola nyo sa bathroom ko na parang hinahabol ng sampung Pitbull at mega throw up!!!! Sunod si DINA at mega knock sya sa door ng bathroom saying: "Hey, are you ok?" I said: "Yes, I'm alright!!! I just need to throw up and breath!" Dina: "Do you want me to help you in there?" Me: "NO!!!! Thank You!" Dina: "Are you sure?" Me: "Shut up, I'm ok!"

Then I took my sweet sweet time sa bathroom! I stayed there for almost an hour. Hanggang nainip na si DINA at sumigaw na lang ng: "Hey I'm going now, I left your car key in your dining table...."

So in short mga day, hindi ko nasabi kay DINA na amoy imburnal ang bibig nya! At wag nyo akong husgahan! Mabuti akong kaibigan! Kaya lang mga day sana maintindihan nyo na ako ay nasa mahirap na kalalagayan. Sige nga, paano mo sasabihin sa kebigan mo na mabaho hininga nya without making it awkward???Aber? Aber? O dibah mahirap??? Iisipin mo tuloy, abutan ko kaya sya ng mouthwash, o kaya ng sipliyo, o kaya ng clorox, o di kaya ng tawas, pwede din kaya ang nganga ng matatanda???

Sa ngayon, ito lang ang masasabi ko. Inaantok na ako! Charos! Sa tingin ko, walang matatawag na pinaka polite at mabuting paraan para sabihin sa isang kaibigan na ang hininga nila ay kasing amoy ng basura sa Payatas dump site! Pinakamadaling paraan ay: bring fresh gum and mints and right away offer your friend some. Pag ayaw nya, pilitin nyong isaksak sa bibig nya! Leche sya! Sya na nga itong pinapabango ang breath eh!

Pero kung may alam kayo na paraan eh pucha, i-share nyo naman sa aken!

O sya mga day, inaantot na ako....

Hugs,
Morrise

Valentine's Day Break-Ups

Salut Folks!

Oh ano na? Tapos na ang V Day? Ano naman napala nyo? Naregaluhan ba kayo ng diamonds are forever, ng flowers na kalachuchi, ng tsokaleteng Chocnut (in fairness masarap to!) o di kaya ng Kiss man lang? Oh well good for you my friend! Ako? May na receive din ako, pero di ko sasabihin. Pero pag pinilit ako pwede na din...hahahaha

Anyway my friends, today we will talk about Valentine Break Ups. Hay naku day! Talamak pala itong kaganapan na itech! Di ako aware before ngunit subalit datapwat! Nalaman ko ito sa mga kebigan kong chismosa na kagaya ko at syempre kagaya nyo din! ;-)

Sa mga mahilig sa Romansa (parang ang sagwa pakinggan - romance na lang!), ito ang pinaka-iiwasan nilang mangyari! Lintsakin mo ba naman makipaghiwalay sa yo ang churva of your life sa mismong araw ng mga PUSOn este PUSO! Eh di wasak lahat ng mawawasak sa yo lalo na ang hearty mo! And then you'll start saying these lines na josko day, maloloka ang mga script writers ng pelikulang Pilipino! Example:

1. "Ibinigay ko ang buong puso at kaluluwa ko sa yo...." (puso't kaluluwa nga lang ba???)
2. "Hindi ko kayang mabuhay ng wala ka sa piling ko..." (arte mo! tampalin kita jan eh!)
3. "Anong meron sya na wala ako..." (aba day! break na nga nagtanong ka pa!)
4. "Ikaw ang lahat sa akin..." (teleserye itech day, kaya wag ka manggaya!)
5. "Pinulot ka lang sa putik..." (mataray ang lola mo, palaban! type ko!)
6. "Sige! Mamili ka! Sya o ako..." (Patay ka day pag hindi ikaw ang pinili, kakahiya ka!)
7. "Sinaktan mo ang puso ko..." (alam ko kasunod nyan day.."Sinaksak mo ng kutsilyo... bwahaahahaha!")
8. "Para kang carenderia, bukas para sa lahat!..." (type ko to, jokjok pala!)
9. "Akala mo lang wala pero MERON MERON..." (merong ano? aba day wag ka parang adik paulit ulit ka, leche ka!)
10. "Sabi mo ako lang ang mahal mo pero bakit dalawa kame???" (sinungaling pala yang mokong na yan eh, hala putulin na ang ari nyang lintsak na yan!)

And so many other lines pa mga day! Pero isa lang masasabi ko day! Aba, MOVE ON!!! Pag sinabi sa inyo ng jowa nyo na break na tayo ang pinaka maganda jan eh ganito ano - follow the 7 easy steps formulated by yours truly:
Step1. Smile
Step2. Say: "Thanks for the good memories!"
Step3. Hug him/her
Step4. Smile again
Step5. Walk away swinging your hips
Step6. Then look back
Step7. At a distance give the mothafocka the DIRTY FINGER and MOVE ON!

Tapos para move on faster kayo day, eto ang mga dapat nyo isipin:
1. "Mas maganda ako sa kanya..." (kahit hindi totoo, pwede na yan day!)
2. "Ang panget ng buhok nya, puro split ends!" (kahit parang pubic hair yung sa yo!)
3. "Mas kaunti ang peklat ko sa legs, bentsingko lang ang sa aken sa kanya piso!" (need I say more???)
4. "Mas matalino ako sa kanya, 8 years ako sa college sya 9 years!" (grabe SUMA... sumasampung taon ang lola!)
5. "Bad breath sya, ako halitosis lang! (Josko, 8 years nga sa college ang lola mo!)

At marami pang bagay na nagsisimula sa MAS!

In short guys, learn to appreciate and love yourself more. Most specially after a break up!

At ito ang pinaka importante sa lahat mga day after a break up: ALWAYS LOOK YOUR BEST kahit san kayo pumunta - whether bibili lang kayo ng suka sa kanto o pupunta sa mall! Who knows baka makasalubong mo ang tatawagin na nating EX! Para ang masasabi na lang nya: "Damn! Bakit ko say hiniwalayan!" Instead of: "Damn! Buti na lang hiniwalayan ko sya!" Tigbak ka day!

So sa mga single na ulit after VD, okay lang yan. Start banging some other people na agad! Charos lang! This is the perfect time to love and appreciate yourself more than before!

Hugs,
Morrise

Announcement, Changes and Greetings from Morrise

Salut my dear friends and readers!!!! Beso and Hugs!

I have some few things to say so make sure you are all ears!

ANNOUNCEMENT! Servicio Publico (Charos!)

I will be launching a contest here in my blog! And unlike some contests that you have sent millions of letters to (I know, don't be shy) there will be prizes!!!!!!! Prizes like cans of sardines, soy sauce, fish sauce, 1 sack of rice, 1 night free stay at 20 star rating Hotel Kiribati (if 20 star rating exists) and the grand prize of free tickets to see Heath Ledger in person (go figure)! Just kidding! Ultimately, the prize will be some sorta kinda $$$. You like??? SO KEEP VISITING MY BLOG for the contest announcement!!!

CHANGES...

Due to popular demand, my blog entries will now be written in TAGLISH (Tagalog-English). Why? Because my nose has never stopped bleeding since I started writing this blog in ENGLISH. Nose bleed! Charos! No, because our Tagalog language is fun, sexy and bastos! hahahahaha. Also, so that I can make a mockery of my foreign readers! Hahahaha... Kiddin... Not to frown my dearest International readers, I will create a link that will allow you to translate my blogs in English or even other languages.

GREETINGS!

My very warm hello to all my readers in Dubai and the people in Middle East. Specially to Pam (a.k.a. the queen of Langis! Oil in english! hahaha) and her friendships hahahaha. Thanks for patronizing my blogs! Kayo naman, wag na kayo mahiya mag comment! Go lang kayo at sexpress yourself! Masama kinikimkim ang tuwa at tawa, alam nyo ang nangyayari pag ganon!

I would also like to say Mabuhay to my readers from the Seven Thousand one hundred seven islands of the Filipins! Marami akong mga ichi-chika sa inyo!

To my friends in the Lion City SINGAPORE! OK lah! Wala lang! Sabi nga ni Poohquiao, kung asan man kyo, jan na lang kayo! hahahahaha See you soon!

To my swiss reader: you are great!

And to those who read my blog from all over the world, my warm HUGS. Leave your footprint and don't be scared to leave comments...

MAKE FRIENDS THRU MY BLOG... INTERACT... ASK...SAY SOMETHING...CELEBRATE...

HUGS,

Morrise

10 Most Romantic Movie Lines - Valentine's Day TWM Special

Love is in the air... Love is in the air...Love is in the air... OK! Fine! Enough already!

Ooopppsss, before I forget. HELLO Folks! It's Tuesdays with Morrise once again! And in recognition of St. Valentine's Day this 14th I am giving you what you want! That is - unforgettable Romantic Movie Lines!

Not everyone is good with words, so let's offer them a hand job I meant helping hand! How about telling these very words to your gf/bf/fb/whatever you call them.

Ready??? This is exciting!!!

1. “I love you without knowing how, why, or even from where” – Patch Adams

Awww... This is so sweet... Sometimes being dumb is sweet... Like not knowing anything... ahahahahaha

2. "I would rather have had one breath of her hair, one kiss from her mouth, one touch of her hand, than eternity without it." - City of Angels

However, the ending of the movie kinda sucks! I dunno maybe it's just me.

3. "I'm scared of walking out of this room and never feeling the rest of my whole life the way I feel when I'm with you" - Dirty Dancing

Holy cow! I should dance more!

4. "You make me want to be a better man" - Jack Nicholson, As Good As It Gets

Awwww... If only all men would be like this... Hello??? Wake up Morrise! You're dreaming! This will never happen!

5. "You had me at hello" - Renee Zellweger, Jerry Maguire

My response: "I didn't say hello, I said HI moron!" hahahaha

6. "The fame thing is only temporary,and don't forget i'm just a girl standing in front of a boy,asking him to love her." - Julia Roberts, Notting Hill

Who doesn't know this? I have my version: ".... I'm just a boy standing in front of a boy, asking him to love him." Charing!

7. "You... complete me."--Jerry Maguire

I say try: "Usted me completo..." Spanish sounds better...hahahaha

8. "Look, I guarantee there will be tough times. I guarantee that at some point one or both of us is going to want out of this thing. But I also guarantee that if I don’t ask you to be mine, I’ll regret it for the rest of my life, because I know in my heart you are the one for me." - Runaway Bride

I so love this... Very realistic!

9. "May I ask your name, my lady? Or perhaps angels have no names, only beautiful faces." A Knight's Tale

This is a winner! Good pick up line too boys!!!

10. "I wish I knew how to quit you" - Brokeback Mountain

In memory of my late EX BF Heath....

Here's your all time favorite: "Roses are Red, Violets are blue, Sugar is sweet and so are YOU!"

I am very confident that you guys will be all geared up for the hearts day with the right lines to tell your bf/gf/fb/whatever you call them!

Hugs,

Morrise

Facts about YOU plus sexy is back!

I'm back FOLKS! hahahaha I bet you missed me... Oh well, gotta take care of some stuff but I'm back with a vengeance! Bwahahaha

Last week, I have learnt some invaluable lessons about "myself"(read!) and being the selfless person that I am (NO violent reactions allowed), I am sharing it with you so that you can educate the morons of the poor universe.

1. Scientists say the higher I.Q. the more you dream.
OMG, I dreamt yesterday, a couple of days ago, last week, last month! Charos! Question: Are WET DREAMS counted? hahahaha

2. The largest cell in human body is the female egg and the smallest is the male sperm!
Boo! Double standard! hahahaha Oh well, good thing I have both!

3. The acid in your stomach is strong enough to dissolve razorblades.
This is a very good news, I just swallowed a couple! But when I was a kid, I saw a magic trick where they swallow razorblades and I thought it's going to slice open their intestines. NOW i know why it doesn't - because of the acid...ahahahahahaha

4. The human brain cell can hold 5 times as much information as the Encyclopedia Brittanica.
I challenge this fact! Howcome there are morons out there like my college classmates who kept on copying my exam answers??? Aber aber???

5. Your eyes are always the same size from birth but your nose and ears never stop growing.
Good! I also happen to know something that keeps on growing most specially when touched or licked! hahahahahaha

6. The tooth is the only part of the human body that can't repair itself
Really? You mean to say when I try to cut off my, you know, my, you know, my PeePee, it will grow back? hahahaha

7. Dogs and Humans are the only animals with prostates.
Is this where they got the term "dog-style"??? hahahaha

8. The tongue is the only muscle attached at one end.
Tongue? Hmm... this is a powerful muscle...you know what i'm talking about...*wink* And they attach the other end of the tongue somewhere else...hahahahaha

9. Your brain uses 40% of the oxygen that enters your bloodstream.
Now I know why people who don't use their brains FARTS a lot. Because the Oxygen is converted to Carbon Dioxide since it's not being used up. hahaha

10. There is about one trillion bacteria on each of your feet.
OMG, I should refrain from my foot fetish.. hahahaha

11. About one third of the human race has 20-20 vision.
And I am NOT one of them! Crap!

12. Living brain cells are bright pink.
Not true! Mine is green!

Tell me something I don't know...

Hugs,
Morrise

On Losing...

Hello guys!

Pardon my "not so happy" entry today. For people who know me really well, this is kinda strange. They always see a smile in my face even if the "goin gets tough". I am a happy person! But what can I say and you may think it sounds like a cliche, but here you go and I'm saying it... I'm only human..

Losing can be interpreted in so many ways. Death, break-up, separation, divorce, fight, betrayal, etc. But whatever it is, it leaves you aching and in pain. It breaks your spirit. It tears your heart apart. It makes you weep. It stops your life for a moment. It covers the good things with bad. It makes things seem ugly instead of beautiful. It makes you evil instead of kind. It numbs you of joyful things. List goes on and on...

I am a "clingy" person. I hold on to my family, loved ones and friends for as long as I possibly can. I share my dreams, my goals, my happiness and my sorrows with them. I love, breath, celebrate, care and laugh with them. I treasure, value, respect and cherish them. However, losing someone is inevitable. And as my mom would always say: "People come and go honey" She is right and she'd always be right on that sense...

A very good friend and confidante named Catherine wrote me a letter and she said: "I know some good things never last but it's a pity it has to end so soon..."
I knew I broke her heart when I had to go but she understood...

How I wish I could be like her right now and understand what happened...

Have a great wednesday folks...

Hugs,
Morrise

NO TWM for today...

How are you guys?

I'm sorry there'll be no Tuesdays With Morrise Today...

I'm not feeling well and my mind is everywhere right now.

Later...

Hugs,
Morrise

Will We Really Know When "It's about time..."?

I hate Monday... don't we all? The morning rush, the crazy drive to work and it happens to me every Monday - every Monday! F*** Interstate 76! To make it worst, my New England PATRIOTS lost over New York Giants in the Superbowl yesterday!!!

On a lighter note and on my way to work today, I was listening to one of my favorite Jazz singer ever, Jamie Cullum. He is awesome! He is great! He is very very talented! You guys should listen to his music! There's this track in his Twenty Something Album entitled: It's about Time. It talks about being ready to make someone yours. But my question is: Will we really know when "It's about time" to make someone ours???

I don’t know if I have ever been in love, which is probably a good indication that I haven’t (no offense to my Exes, again, it's plural you see that hahahaha). According to all the advice columns in the newspaper and from friends, when you are in love, you know it. I am always coming across these testimonies of love, of people proclaiming the beauty, and purity, and unconditional nature of their love. However, I often wonder if these ideal proclamations aren’t elaborated, as they often appear to me as highly convoluted. It mystifies me that one can be so certain of their love in a relationship despite how incredibly easy it is to fall out of love.

A very good friend in UK, Sabrina, once wrote me a comment about my being cynical on knowing when it is indeed love or when it's about time to make someone mine exactly this and I quote her: "Much of the truth about love is purely feeling. And as complex as a feeling is, the harder it is to put down into words. Truly, love is one of the most unstable realities one will encounter in his/her lifetime---if he/she ever does. But like a scale, it will chose to go one side in the end. may it be to falling out or to becoming a permanent, unconditional, undying, unwaning fixture in one's life. To which side it will fall through, no one can ever predict. But, wouldn't you risk even just a part of your lifetime finding out?I know my life would be filled with regret had i not." Maybe she's right about taking the risk and finding out.

I wish that I had more faith, but I have trouble believing in this idealistic unconditional love and knowing when IT"S ABOUT TIME. I know that a single stolen kiss can change a relationship. In that single moment, the honesty and the integrity are broken. How can someone then possess such perpetual conviction in such an unstable thing as love? I know that human nature is fallible, and that is why I have such little faith. However, I honestly believe that once I do fall in love, I will be able to understand the true dynamics of unconditional love, which are able to hold together relationships in our imperfect world. Until, I intend on keeping my cynical views towards love, and revel in my ignorance. As Oscar Wilde said, "The well-bred contradict other people. The wise contradict themselves."

So tell me guys and perhaps ask yourself the same thing, Will We Really Know When "It's about time....?"

Hugs,
Morrise

ITALIAN 101: Angel Hair Pasta with Tuna - the BEST!

Happy Saturday Guys!

I went to my friend's house last night for dinner before we went out clubbing. He is 100% full-blooded Italian! Yummm... You know what they say about Italians right? (*wink*) - that they really make good pasta dishes! Hmmm you're probably thinking of some other things about them, aren't you little perverts...hahahaha

Anyway, Filipinos are so used (or at least I am) to cooking pasta for like big number of people (7-10 minimum). We cook spaghetti when we have parties etc. as an example. What I found out last night was very interesting and I want to share it with you guys!

I found out from my Italian friend that to make a really good pasta, we should cook the pasta dish as individual serving or maximum would be for 2 people and NOT as a BULK COOKING that can serve the whole barangGAY (village)!

And on that note, I want to share a simple yet very mouth-watering pasta dish that you can make for yourself and your sex partner, ooooppppssss you call it bf or gf nowadays right? hahahaha

ANGEL HAIR PASTA WITH TUNA - for 2 people by Chef Morrise

Ingredients:

1 bulb of fresh garlic chopped very finely

1 medium full cup of OLIVE OIL (don't use any other oil like coconut, vegetable, baby oil or your own oil!!!)

1 & 1/2 can of tuna IN OIL (read: IN OIL not in water, not mechado flavor etc!!!)

Salt and Pepper - no MSG please...hahahaha

Angel Hair Pasta - (about close to 1/2 lb for 2 people)

How to Cook:

1. Cook your pasta in a boiling water. DO NOT put oil, just water and a lil sift of salt. Make sure the PASTA is Al Dente - meaning not over done! Put it aside while doing the next steps below (not above hahahaha)

2. Heat up your pan in medium flame and put your olive oil.

3. Saute your garlic until it becomes brownish in color! Brownish not brownie, ok? Don't over saute!

4. Put your tuna (throw away the oil in the tuna can) and saute it with the garlic.

5. Saute it for 5 minutes

6. Season with salt and pepper - don't put too much salt (take care of your kidneys, you can sell 'em when you want some good $$$$ hahaha)

7. Put the ANGEL (not the devil's) HAIR PASTA and fry it with your tuna.

8. Mix continuously using two forks.

9. Get a plate and put some parsley on top if you want. perhaps some garlic bread???

10. Serve with a glass of Cabernet or Merlot

11. Eat, Enjoy and relax

11. And Lastly, don't forget to tell your BF or GF that I was the one who taught you how to cook the best PASTA he ever tasted in his/her life and that you both owe me a bottle of wine!

Let me know how it turns out guys!

Ciao!

Hugs,

Morrise

I so HATE Fergie! Read first before cursing..

TGIF!!!

I'm so excited for this weekend as some friends are planning to go snow boarding this Sunday at the Poconos! Yes!!! Time to put my thermal panties, I mean briefs! hahahaha

Anyway, I have a question guys. Did this ever happen to you? Like you start hating a guy or a girl simply for being the bf or the gf of your ultimate big time crush??? It sucks big time, right? Like this Stacy (Fergie) Ferguson! I "hate" her! She stole my honeypie-bukopie Josh Duhamel from my loving arms. They recently got engaged btw as you probably know by now. Fergie's romance with Josh (first name basis, you see that? hahaha) is quite KINKY too! You want to know why? This fergalicious so delicious star admitted that Josh dances for her in private, wearing some interesting costumes! Also, Josh bought Fergie some thigh-high boots that are made of leather! Josh certainly learned those stripping skills from yours truly and we have a sex tape...*wink*

So yeah, I hate her being Josh's honey bunny! And I don't care if she's nice or kind or a good singer. I hate her!

Come on guys, sometimes no matter how kind and nice the person is, you still hate 'em! Why? Because in your eyes, you see them as this slutty-boyfriend/girlfriend-stealer-bitch! No shit, I'm right!!!

So think about this over the weekend - who do you hate for being with the person you so like and perhaps love??? I bet you'll have plenty of names in your list!!!!

P.S.

I know a little bit about witchcraft and I know some witches and sorcerers too. Let's just call them Cathy and Sheila! All you need is a strand of hair to put a hex or curse on the person that "stole" your potential boytoy or girltoy... So contact me...bwahahahahahaha

Hugs,

Morrise

Public Display of Affection - PDA: my 2 cents

Comment ca va Mon ami???

I'll be the first to admit that I am a touchy person. I love hugging my friends, kissing 'em, holding their hands, etc. (You twisted mind, I am not a street maniac like you!!!) Having said that and by the virtue of deduction, one can say that I'm pretty much the same toward the person I'm dating. However, I AM NOT! So TOUGH LUCK to my hundreds of admirers out there - NO PDA moments for us...hahahaha

Hands off please...

I gotta tell you that I feel a lil uncomfortable seeing couples place their hands in each others lap. You know what I'm sayin? This happens a lot during lunch, dinner, merienda at Ka Mameng's carenderia...hahahaha.. I just think that it's so close to "the package". I really don't know why but I do feel uncomfortable. And if you ever wanna flip me out, add rubbing your bf or gf's lap! I'm not saying it's wrong or whatever but hey, different strokes for different folks!

HHWW - Holding Hands While Walking (I love pinoys, they love to abbreviate phrases... so cute, amazing, fabulous, excellent, fantastic, churva!)

Ok, this is something I think is generally okay PROVIDED that couples DO NOT OVER DO IT!!! Some couples make it appoint to let the whole wide universe know that they are NOT SINGLE by swinging their locked-hands all the way to the sky while walking. Please!!!! Ok, fine you have a bf or a gf and I'm single! Big freakin deal! I remember a couple that never fails to irritate me every god forsaken morning back in Singapore and for some unfortunate reason I see them every morning in the bus stop. What irritates me is this. The guy wraps not just his hand but his whole arm to his gf's arm like his arm has no bones due to some calcium deficiency related diseases and what was left was just muscles and ligaments - like that of a snake. I am telling you my friends, Cathy and Sheila, can attest to this! Guys, do it in a subtle way and it will look sweet and sincere.

Keys me out of the bearded barley! (See Music Video at: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=leW9nn8ZCAM) I meant KISS me!

I can lose my sanity telling you so many things about kissing and PDA. And if I ever do, please send me to Britney's psychiatrist, will you? I swear to God if I see a friend of mine making out and kissing in public, I will tell them exactly this: "Do you know how many millions and millions of bacteria there are in your saliva? And by now you probably have ingested a potentially dangerous amount of unicellular endosporic pathogenic microorganisms that are a major cause of human death and diseases such as but not limited to diptheria, syphilis, leprocy, tuberculosis, cholera, anthrax etc.??? Let's see if they still have the powers to continue doing whatever they were doing after hearing this! hahahaha! Ok guys before I go further, I'm talking about TONGUE-TO-TONGUE kissing so relax! I mean kissing you bf/gf/fb on the cheek, lips, forehead, armpit is fine just no TONGUE action. And if there comes a time that you find yourself almost into doing it, just picture out my heavenly face with a megaphone placed in your ear and shouting those every word I said above. How about that? And do the hospitality industry a favor - get a room! Who knows both of you might get lucky and in the process produce the finest gene combination that the world could ever have thru a love child. *wink*

No Hitting Below The Belt!

Everybody stand please then Honorable Judge Judy comes in and asks everyone to sit down!

Court of Justice Case #69: The male population VS the people of the world

Court of Justice Case Description: The male population charged with ASS grabbing.

Court of Justice Case Summary: Males are accused grabbing asses while walking around the city.

Court of Justice Verdict: GUILTY beyond reasonable doubt!

Court of Justice Sentence: Amputation of both left and right arm.

Grabbing asses and butts in public is SO not cool! It's so wrong and inappropriate. I have seen these happen tons of times! And what's so peculiar about it is it happens in city streets while you are doing your typical lazy walk. What the F??? I mean grabbing asses or butts in the bedroom is a different story, even spanking is! Oh man by all means please grab and spank in the bedroom! But come on now, while walking and in public? And by the way, I'm not talking about grabbing the belt loop, I'm really talking about ASSES! You know asses right? Those round sometimes flat, those sagging sometimes bubble like part of your body...hahaha. If I see you guys doing it or letting your bf/gf/fb do it to you, you will get some real spanking from me! I bet you'd like that!

This is my 2 cents, what's yours?

HUGS,

Morrise

"Games Couple Play" - my TWM HOT Topic

Hello folks! It's Tuesday and it's indeed Tuesdays with Morrise!!!!

I have been thinking about this topic for quite a long time now and I never really spent a good amount of time contemplating about this until I saw George W. Bush in his State of the Union Address last night... just kidding (he is full of rubbish btw!)... until I revisited my Sex and the City DVDs.

Here's the ONE MILLION DOLLAR question guys and I want you to be honest and sincere about this, ok?

Do YOU have to play games and lies to make a relationship work?

Guilty??? Listen, I think everyone is...

I called a friend of mine last night and ask him if he ever tells his girlfriend lies to make their relationship work. Without batting an eye he said: HELL YEAH!!! I hanged up on him and told him I have to make another call.

I called another friend, Niki, and asked her the same question. Do you tell your boyfriend lies to make your relationship work? She replied: Of course!

While driving home, I asked myself the same question: Did I ever tell my "Exes" (plural, you see that???? hahahaha) lies to make the relationship work? My answer: NO.... No shit, I did!!! hahahaha...

So therefore, for that reason or cause, consequently, hence and whatever adverb you can think of, "Practically all the realtionships I know are based on a foundation of lies and mutually accepted delusion."

It makes me think, are lies and games naturally part of any relationship? Can a relationship withstand the tests of harsh truth? Is there a relationship that is solely based on honesty, good faith and sincerity?

What if the time comes and your bf or gf asks you this: Did you ever tell me lies and played games to make our relationship work? What's the best answer to this scary question? I think it is pretty scary and everyone should be prepared when this ungodly time comes... Don't you think?

I'm pretty sure that I have more questions than answers on this topic.

Do me a favor friends, folks and readers, think about the question and give me your thoughts about it.

You probably have heard the same questions on certain occasions but never really paid enough attention to it. This time, you should!

I'm waiting... in vain... hahahaha

Hugs,

Morrise

Parenting 101: Sunday Mass Etiquette... Ggggrrrrrrr

Before I start, let me give you some definition of terms taken from Tuesdays With Morrise (TWM) School of Behavioral Sciences a.k.a. School for the Socially and Mentally challenged people!

Etiquette: TWM defines Etiquette as rules governing socially acceptable behavior. Ok guys, the operative word here is ACCEPTABLE!

Parenting 101: TWM defines Parenting 101 as a class that offers parents, live-in partners, stupid straight couples that didn't use protection, gay couples and some primate couples that are smarter than human beings, courses on "How to raise a child and how to make your kids obedient, respectful, kind and most importantly.... a God-fearing child. I'll tell you why I put God-Fearing as the most important part of the Parenting 101 course.

I went to Sunday Mass early yesterday. I braved the cold weather and wrapped myself with 4 layers of clothes, gloves and ear mops. You know, for one thing I know how to say a prayer.

I love the atmosphere of the cathedral where I go to on Sundays. It's a 130 year old cathedral. The cathedral offers Baroque style of architecture that is characterized by dramatic light and shades and silhouettes, sweeping curves and a general effect of fantastic opulence. It gives me some source of tranquility and peace of mind. The voice of the cathedral's choir gives me goose bumps everytime I hear them sing.

Everything sounds perfect guys, right??? Until... (drum roll please...) you hear a baby crying inside the cathedral!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And I don't mean the kind of sobbing little cry but the endless, ear drum-tearing, screaming type of cry, you know what I mean??? Jesus Christ! It's so annoying! There you are, concentrating on the teachings of Christ and telling God that you'll never commit the same sins again (which by the way you keep telling God everytime you go to mass) and all you can hear is a freakin' baby tearing your ear drums!!! What the F???

To make the story even more worst, the parent lined up with their crying baby for the communion!!!! I understand that they wanted to get their, you know, body of christ but come on now parents!!!! I swear to god, I wanted to snatch their kid and bring it out of the cathedral and spank his little cute butt until he can cry no more!

Ok parents, I understand that you wanted your kids to grow up God-fearing and everything and praying to God that they won't engage into drugs or pre-marital sex like you did when you were growing up yada yada. But please do the community of Christ a big favor, Once your baby starts crying uncontrollably, bring them out of the church until they stop crying and then you are more than welcome to bring them back (if I decide not to lock the cathedral's doors hahahaha)

If you know that your kid gets uncomfortable everytime you bring 'em to church (hopefully they feel uncomfortable because of their diapers or whatever and NOT because of the presence of holy images and the holy water...hahahaha), then leave 'em at home. Hire a nanny for God sake or leave 'em at the care of somebody who is willing and you trust or bring them to a nursery care or ask a nun to baby sit your child while you hear the mass, I'm sure the nun wouldn't mind.

Also, I know of some churches that have nursery facilities already. That's a plus points on your list of things to do to go to heaven!

Don't get me wrong folks, I love love love kids... I swear to papa God. I love them to death until they start crying like there's no tomorrow.

That's what you call PARENTING 101 from TWM, ok?

I'm sure my readers have experienced this same thing that I have. Isn't it annoying and frustrating?

So promise me my dear readers that you will take this Parenting 101 lesson anywhere you go most specially when you guys become parents and decide to pass your beautiful genes to your kids or procreate. OK???

And if you are a guilty parent charged with this case of mine. There's a way to be good again (-The Kite Runner).

Hugs,

Morrise

Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton: why I hate/love 'em!

Hola mi amigos!

I was walking my dog, snickers, this morning at Clark Park which is two blocks away from my apartment when I bumped into an old friend which I haven't seen for God knows how long. As usual, you have your "what's up" and "what's goin on with you" kinda talk. Along our catching up moment, she started asking me about what I think of Britney Spears and the things going on in her life. I thought to myself: DO I LOOK LIKE RYAN SEACREST OF E? Well, to be honest I thought I was better looking than Ryan Seacrest...(WARNING: VIOLENT REACTIONS are not allowed while reading my blogs!). Anyway, so i gave her my 2 cents about Britney.

After snickers peed and pood and on my way back to my apartment, I decided to blog about Britney AND LINDSAY and PARIS on why I hate/love them... hahahaha... Here you go.

1. Paris Hilton


LOVE: For one thing, she knows a thing or two about fashion. Love those stilettos baby!
HATE: I hate her for having those, hmmmm, i find it hard to say it... those great legs!!!! I HATE YOU! (Talk about sour graping)
LOVE: I love her for showing the world the beauty of her sex tape. Her cute bf's pee pee and her cute bra and undies.
HATE: I hate her for having sets of cute and hunky bf - remember the Tommy Hilfiger model, the guy with the name Paris Latsis, Jason Shaw and Stavros Niarchos (the heir to a shipping tycoon) to name a few... Paris, if you need some help to handle those boys, I'm just a phone call away...
LOVE: I love her expression: "That's Hot..." And by the way highway: she applied for a trademark for that expression!!!! Damn, why didn't I think of that??!!!???? Mine will be: "That's hotness...." sounds similar??? I don't care
HATE: She published a book called: Confessions of a Heiress... Imagine that - a blond girl has a published book, while a brunette girl like me is still writing things in a blogsite... hahahaha



Whatever people say about Paris, it doesn't matter. I'm telling you the girl is here to stay... I deserve a discounted rate at Waldorf Astoria!!!

2. Lindsay Lohan

I don't have anything to say about this girl. I don't like her at all. She's doomed! Rehab became her middle name! 'Nough said!!!!

3. Hit me baby one more time girl!!!! Britney Spears!

LOVE: She made my high school year fun! hahahaha... hit me baby one more time? remember?
HATE: She broke Justin Timberlake's heart and I quote him: "Something happened... Something very bad happened..." To Britney: How dare you! To Justin: Come to mommy, i'll take care of you!!! hahaha
LOVE: She got back into her senses by divorcing Kevin Federline a.k.a. gold digger-trying hard to be rapper- self-deluded asshole! Finally, you did something right!!!!!!
HATE: That she even married, what's his name again, oh Kevin Federline. Duh???
LOVE: She made me feel good about my body after seeing her in the VMA 2007 dancing like a bloated bull frog...hahaha not to forget lip synching and forgetting the lyrics of her own song...hahaha
HATE: That nobody told her that she shouldn't wear a "bra-top" and a skimpy shorts for the VMA... lol

What do u think guys?

Time to take a shower and pretty up for P's birthday...

Hugs,
Morrise

How to get NOTICED by Your Ultimate Crush!!!

Hello girls and boys! How you all doing? TGIF!!!!

9pm last night and after a long day at work a neighbor/good friend Niki came knocking on my door (as usual, unannounced!!!) with a two bottles in hand - a Grey goose and a cranberry! Perfect! We call this - the vodka night! I LOVE LOVE LOVE this thing called "spur of the moment"!!!! Way to go Niki!

I love hanging out with Niki because she talks a lot! And I mean the girl can talk a lot lot lot! She's your typical african-american girl that bitches about anything and everything but don't you dare judge her! The girl is a LAW STUDENT at UPENN (Ivy League mah baby!).

So last night we talked about so many things and I wanted to share one of our easy, breezy, beautiful (Covergirl Ad...hahahaha) topics: HOW TO GET NOTICED BY YOUR ULTIMATE CRUSH!

1. Leave Your Watch at HOME! For Boys and Girls!

Don't wear a watch and keep your mobile phone (put it in vibrate or silent mode too) in your purse/bag/undies! This will give you a chance to ask him/her if he/she has the time. If he/she doesn't have a watch, i'm tellin you girl/boy - FORGET ABOUT HIM/HER! Why? I think a watch is an essential accesory most specially for guys. You know what I'm sayin???(Snoop Dog tone) If he can't get himself a watch, what makes you think he's gonna get you one??? And also, this will give him/her the excuse when he/she comes late on your date in a "karinderya" (local eatery).

2. For Girls: If you knew that you'll bump into your CRUSH: WEAR A SKIMPY SKIRT or plunging-boob exposing shirt or dress!

Let's admit it, boys like seeing legs and/or 2 mountains or sometimes hills for small breasts - if they can have both then DAMN you're a winner!!!! They really do. After all, they are guys! WARNING and ALERT: I'm sure you are thinking of a $1 hooker get-up. No you mothafucka! Dress up sexy! I know there's a thin line that separates sexiness and "whoreness". So ask your dad first what he thinks...hahahaha. Just beware of NOT looking like $1 hooker, OK?

3. For Boys: This is easy for you guys: Wear or Bring any SPORTS ACCESSORIES!

Hmmm example: Wear an Equestrian Suit! How about a hockey helmet while you are walking in the halls of your school or office? Or wear a swimming trunks while grocery shopping in K-Mart. Maybe bring a skateboard while dressed up in a formal suit? No!!!! Seriously guys, WOMEN love men involved in SPORTS. The athleticism involved is so powerful for them. It drives them nuts and they'd go gaga over you!

4. For Girls: Act smart!!!

I've seen lots of girls lose it when they see their crushes. They either faint or act as if she was dipped in the unforgiving seas of NORTH POLE. Come on now! Get your act together WOMAN! Impress your guys with smart talks and sensible comments. Here's a good example of a girl losing it:

Girl: I like the color of your hair... (wow, sounds like a promising comment)

Boy: Thank you.

Girl: Is it your natural hair? (ok, it still sounds reasonable to ask)

Boy: Yeah.

Girl: Can I Touch it? (hmmm, i'm seeing red flags!)

Boy: Sure

Girl: Can I smell it? (hmmm, scary bitch!!!)

Boy: (Giving the girl a dumbfounded look)

Girl: I think you need some new shampoo and conditioner and I can recommend some if you want and we can buy it together... yada yada yada... and the girl went on forever...

It's the END OF YOUR WORLD HONEY!

It's simple girls, act SMART!

5. For Boys: Talk about how you love your MOM, yes your MOTHER!

Girls love it when boys talk about how they respect and love their moms. It gives them an idea of how you will treat them. However, don't overdo it and sound like a big, creepy and spoiled MAMA's boy! Wait for the perfect chance to slide it in the context of the conversation. I mean if you guys are talking about baseball or watching a sports event, you don't go like: OH MAN I LOVE MY MOM!!! in the middle of the game or something! What a psycho!

6. For Girls: IGNORE! IGNORE! IGNORE!

Sometimes this works, sometimes it doesn't. So be careful! Some guys find it challenging when girls ignore them (Most specially those "i-know-i'm-good looking type of guys). So the rule applies: the 3 Is. But don't be such a bitch! Smile and move on kind of ignoring is what I'm talking about! NOT the kind of "i'm better than you are little twat" ignore. Ok???

I'm sure you guys have your own tactics and sometimes magical potions to get noticed by your crushes...hahahaha

Lemme know some of them...

And I hope this tips help you get laid I mean get noticed by your crush!!!

Bueno, Adios mi amigos!!!

Hugs,

Morrise

Pinoy vs Kano (Filipinos vs Americans)

Before we proceed girls and boys, I have an exercise for you! Acting 101: Try to look at yourself in the mirror and say this line in different ways like: seductive, angry, cutesy, serious, laughing, sad, crying, etc… Ready??? Here’s your acting 101 line for the day: “You are the most gorgeous creature on earth!” I bet some of you are already doing it now… hahahahahaha

I was listening to The Booker Show on Philly’s Q102.1 this morning on my way to work. They were talking about Americans vs Brits. They were talking about how “better” the Brits are in some matters like manners than Americans. I know they were being honest but I won’t do that kind of “let-down” talk to my fellow Pinoys!!! I won’t let you down by talking about how bad we are in comprehending the difference between NO LOITERING and NO LITTERING, on how we constantly violate traffic rules, on how “amazing” we are when it comes to PUNCTUALITY or the so called: FILIPINO TIME so on and so forth… hahahaha. Oh well, this time it’s not going to be about the Brits. It’s about no other than (dan da da dan… that’s a drum roll btw) the PINOY vs KANO (Filipino vs American for my international readers).

Brace yourself guys, here you go!

1. Pinoys are better communicators than Americans!

And I swear to Papa God this is so true! I am a beauty pageant fanatic and I love the Q&A portion of the contest. Why is this even relevant to my first point? I will tell you - patience is a virtue guys! I'm pretty sure some of you have seen the youtube clip if not the live telecast of Ms. Teen South Carolina during the 2007 Miss Teen USA competition. If not, you are not from this world. hahaha. Ok, for the benefit of "straight/heterosexual" readers that don't watch beauty contests, here's the link to Ms. South Carolina's YouTube clip: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qQdhMSEqhfg. Did you guys click and relive the horrific moment? Que Horror! If you ask the same question to a Filipino pageant contestant in "Ms. Baranggay" beauty contest., he/she/it may not be able to give you a well constructed, grammatically correct and flawless answer BUT BUT BUT he/she/it would be able to relay the answer in a more understandable and more practical way. I was thinking he/she/it would say: Can you repeat the question? Then smiles then asks the judge to repeat the question again and FINALLY an answer! Like what I said, a better answer to the question. hahahahaha

2. Pinoys have this uncanny ability to learn foreign languages faster than anyone in the world - much more than an American.

I was in Frankfurt Germany airport August of last year on my way back to the US. I went to duty free to buy some tsokolate(chocolate) for of course, myself. I went in line to pay the goodies and behind the cashier's counter was a hunky, tall, dark and still dark and tall guy speaking German to the guy in front of me. And guess what!?!?!? Pinoy ang lolo mo! (He is a Filipino!) And as expected, being the stingy person that I am, I asked him if he can give me a discount and he politely said: Gaga! Hindi to Pilipinas! (You fool! This is not the Philippines) After he said that, my instinct was affirmed. Judingels ang lolo mo! (He is gay!) hahahahaha. The bottom line is, we learn languages fast. Cultural Immersion is something we can cope up with easily making it easy for us to learn a foreign language.

3. Pinoys dress up better than Americans.

The reason why the US is so popular in terms of Designer clothes is simply because they NEED it more than we do for heaven sake. Jeeezzz, walk in the streets of LA, New York, Chicago, San Francisco, Quiapo (sorry Quiapo is in the Philippines, my bad) and you'll see those Kano with like baggy sweat pants, over sized tops, etc. We definitely dress better than they do. PERIOD.

I could go on forever and tell you guys what other things PINOYS can do better than KANO but I'll stop here for the moment and let you do your acting 101 excercise. OK?

Lemme know your thoughts about this too, feel free to voice out your comments on this topic most specially if you are PINOY!

Hugs,

Morrise

10 Things I Like about Heath Ledger - I lied Just 5 Things - Lazy

Hello you all!

I feel like I'm Michelle Williams today (hahahaha...) - So down and devastated. Or shall I say Jake Gyllenhaal as Jack Twist in Brokeback Mountain. Whatever works for me. You know I'm bisexual (and then there were thunders!!!!!)

Have you guys seen 10 Things I hate About You? I like it but I'm not so crazy about it. It's ok in short. Today, It's not 10 things I HATE but 5 things I LIKE ABOUT MY EX-BF Heath Ledger... (OMG, the earth is shaking...)

1. The guy knew how to act. At least comparing him to hmmm lemme think, Keanu Reeves!!! Has he ever been decent in a film? I just cannot think of a single instance of quality acting. Even the one film everyone loves (The Matrix) suited him only because the main character was a wet fish. Sorry Keanu - you suck!

2. The I-Don't-Think-I'm-Good-Looking Attitude. Sure, he doesn't have the most perfect, most chiseled, model-looking face but hey, the guy has sex appeal that makes him goodlooking. And what's so sexy about it is that he doesn't know that he is sexy. Love those kind of guys. Wait a sec, drooling, drooling...

3. He is not greedy for senseless motion picture roles! I have a Ukranian co-worker and this morning I started chatting with her about how shocked I was on Heath Ledger's passing and being the big mouth that I am, I didn't stop talking like for half an hour non-stop only to find out in the end that she doesn't know who I was talking about! What the F!!! Well, it only proved one thing - Heath chose his roles really well. From cutesy 10 Things I Hate about you to Casanova, from The Patriot to Brokeback Mountain and this summer see Heath as the young Joker in the new Batman Film-The Dark Night!

4. He knew how to keep his cute MOUTH shut! Entertainment hosts and anchors had difficulty asking Heath about his Personal Life. I remember seeing him got pissed with an E reporter in 2006 Oscar's Red Carpet event when the reporter tried to ask a personal question to my EX BF. We're like bestfriends you know and it was so nice of him not to talk about our relationship that year... thunders, more thunders and a long nose when I wake up - Pinocchio! hahahaha

5. Lastly, he gave the world a better view about HOMOSEXUALITY with his excellent performance in Brokeback Mountain. Homos are everywhere even in the mountains of Wyoming you all. There's no STOPPING US!!! bwahahaha... And for those closet queenies, it's okay to be gay and different. Come out! Come out! IT"S OKAY!!!

I feel better now folks...

I know that my EX BF (Oh my Lord, I think i was just hit by an asteroid in the head) is happier than ever where ever he is right now... I just have one wish, don't visit me Heath... I can see dead people...

I lock you in my heart Heath only if you grant my wish above... hahahaha

Goodnite folks!!!!

Hugs,

Morrise

A "Gay" Hero Dies - Farewell Heath Ledger...

"I Wish I Knew How To Quit You."

One of the famous lines in the 2005 blockbuster Brokeback Mountain. I'm sure you guys remember Ennis Del Mar and Jack Twist. The infamous two young men that shared intimate moments in the mountains of Wyoming sheep herding.

I have no idea why I feel so sad about his passing. And I mean I'm deeply saddened by the news. I really am.

I can't even gather my thoughts right now and blog. I just can't...

My sympathy to his family...

Rest in peace Ennis.... Farewell...

It's Tuesday and You Know What That Means! Hot, Controversial and Sizzling Blog from Yours Truly

Hello Folks!

Hope everyone is well and good despite the bone-chilling weather (I think Al Gore is right on his documentary about Global Warming entitled: An Inconvenient Truth - hands down to you Mi Amigo! Hugs and Kisses). Before you airheads get confused, global warming also affects the winter season not just summer - that's my Earth Science 101 for you guys!

It's Tuesday - it's my day! And every Tuesday, We are going to talk about a topic that is HOT, CONTROVERSIAL, SENSUAL, Something you won't ask nor discuss with your mother or father not even your boytoy or girltoy(I am applying for a patent right for this word by the way) in other words, we are going to talk about (drum roll please.....) "Association analyses between the prion protein locus and reproductive and lamb weight traits in Ripollesa sheep" hahahahahaha... Just playin...

Since I mentioned Hot, Controversial and Sensual, today I decided to blab about: Sex, Gifts and Valentine's Day(VD) (Valentimes for some jolog friends) hahahaha. I know it's still pretty early but I want to offer you some pieces of mushy advice and creative ideas on how to make your "VALENTIMES" a memory that will last a life time.;-)

Are you all ears girls and boys, gays and lesbians?

Let me start by saying that sex on VD is sooooo overrated. Why the hell is it a big deal for couple(straight or gay)/lovers/fuckbuddy/FWB(friends with benefit)/adulterers(i know some friends who are guilty) most specially in the Filipins? Why, why, why dellilah?

Let me tell you some reasons why I think VD is sooooo overrated.

1. I got a call from a supposedly straight friend of mine from Chicago a couple of days ago asking me for some ideas for gifts to give her "not-so-pretty" gf this VD. He said that I should be good at this since I'm gay. Rub it in my face you moron! I said I'll call him back for some ideas. So after a day, I did. I told him to give her a kiss and a hug. I'm serious. I told him that that's all he needs to give to her "not-so-pretty" gf. He replied: That's it? Yeah dickhead that's it! Come on now guys, VD is a day of loving. IT'S NOT CHRISTMAS DAY where you can play monito-monita (for those who don't know monito-monita, ask a filipino walking in the streets. How would you know if it's a Filipino? If he calls another person and says...pssssssst. And when his/her breath smells like soy sauce and vinegar from eating ADOBO - yummm!!!. You can be sure it's a Filipino and you can bet your ass on it). Anyway, VD is not Christmas Day. Period. So for girls and tryin to be girls out there, por favor mi amigas don't be spoiled bitches! You'll get your gift on Christmas Day and if your man is generous enough maybe on your birthday - just maybe. I know my man is! hahahahahaha

2. I was reading a girly magazine last weekend and almost every page I turn to has something to do with VD gift ideas. Here are some ad lines which by the way if I hear once more from anyone will surely flip me out. "Make your girl feel like a Princess" - from a diamond manufacturer. "Diamonds are a girl's bestfriend" - Diamond ad. And here's the kicker: "Bring Her to Heaven" - A Condom Ad. Need I say more why VD is overrated? See those Ad lines? Did you notice that it's all about gifts for WOMEN? How about MEN? Not that I am one but still HOW ABOUT MEN? And to tell you the truth, if I were the marketing director of those companies, I'd fire my marketing exec. Why? Because I wouldn't advertise on a "girly magazine" because the targeted audience/market of the magazine is WOMEN NOT MEN. Boo! I'd go for Men's Health (I have some hidden agenda why I'd advertise here hahahaha), GQ mag, Men's Mag. FHM. Enough of my marketing 101 for you guys, you're learning too much! Hahahaha

3. Hotel and Motel room rates go sky high on VD. Supply and Demand Theory. Ok I understand boys and girls that sometimes you want to experience luxury and splurge on some senseless sexcapades, I mean escapades. But why on VD? Why not on a Good Friday when everyone else is praying and restraining themselves from doing some earthly "sins" or perhaps on Independence day when everyone else is singing the national anthem with their right hand placed in their left chest instead of their crotches. I really don't get it. Still on Hotel and Motel thingy on VD, why is it that couples choose to have sex in hotels and motels when they can do it in their own rooms and sometimes their parents'? Oh I get it now- you want to be a little KINKY! I haven't been in a motel but I heard that on VD specially in the Filipins they offer different room designs like a forest-inspired room with trees and branches (hopefully no snakes), jungle-inspired for couples who feel like being animalistic, under-the-sea-inspried when the guy feels like being a syokoy and the girl feels like being a sirena(mermaid) etc. Ok! Way to go guys! Don't worry, I am not passing judgment here. Different strokes for different folks. I mean I'm normal you're not so it's okay...hahahahaha

4. A card, a kiss and a big hug! These are my take on VD. Write a special card girls and boys, put some glitters on it you know those shiny little dust like things that you keep on putting on your high-school projects thinking that your teacher will give you extra points for doing so, make it as mushy as possible and then seal the envelope with your saliva. Give it to your boyfriend or girlfriend. Kiss them - warning! DO NOT KISS THEM ON THE FOREHEAD! It's a NO NO! He/She did not graduate from college for you to do that! Kiss them on their lips (brush your teeth before you do it or at least a mouthwash will do), close your eyes. Give them a sweet, tender and sincere hug. And whisper in their ear: A diamond next VD will be great! Just Kidding... Gently whisper I LOVE YAH...

Alrighty Folks! That's your Tuesdays with Morrise.

I hope you enjoyed reading it!

More of HOT, JUICY, CONTROVERSIAL and SENSUAL Blogs next tuesday...

Hugs,

Morrise