It's Tuesday and You Know What That Means! Hot, Controversial and Sizzling Blog from Yours Truly

Hello Folks!

Hope everyone is well and good despite the bone-chilling weather (I think Al Gore is right on his documentary about Global Warming entitled: An Inconvenient Truth - hands down to you Mi Amigo! Hugs and Kisses). Before you airheads get confused, global warming also affects the winter season not just summer - that's my Earth Science 101 for you guys!

It's Tuesday - it's my day! And every Tuesday, We are going to talk about a topic that is HOT, CONTROVERSIAL, SENSUAL, Something you won't ask nor discuss with your mother or father not even your boytoy or girltoy(I am applying for a patent right for this word by the way) in other words, we are going to talk about (drum roll please.....) "Association analyses between the prion protein locus and reproductive and lamb weight traits in Ripollesa sheep" hahahahahaha... Just playin...

Since I mentioned Hot, Controversial and Sensual, today I decided to blab about: Sex, Gifts and Valentine's Day(VD) (Valentimes for some jolog friends) hahahaha. I know it's still pretty early but I want to offer you some pieces of mushy advice and creative ideas on how to make your "VALENTIMES" a memory that will last a life time.;-)

Are you all ears girls and boys, gays and lesbians?

Let me start by saying that sex on VD is sooooo overrated. Why the hell is it a big deal for couple(straight or gay)/lovers/fuckbuddy/FWB(friends with benefit)/adulterers(i know some friends who are guilty) most specially in the Filipins? Why, why, why dellilah?

Let me tell you some reasons why I think VD is sooooo overrated.

1. I got a call from a supposedly straight friend of mine from Chicago a couple of days ago asking me for some ideas for gifts to give her "not-so-pretty" gf this VD. He said that I should be good at this since I'm gay. Rub it in my face you moron! I said I'll call him back for some ideas. So after a day, I did. I told him to give her a kiss and a hug. I'm serious. I told him that that's all he needs to give to her "not-so-pretty" gf. He replied: That's it? Yeah dickhead that's it! Come on now guys, VD is a day of loving. IT'S NOT CHRISTMAS DAY where you can play monito-monita (for those who don't know monito-monita, ask a filipino walking in the streets. How would you know if it's a Filipino? If he calls another person and says...pssssssst. And when his/her breath smells like soy sauce and vinegar from eating ADOBO - yummm!!!. You can be sure it's a Filipino and you can bet your ass on it). Anyway, VD is not Christmas Day. Period. So for girls and tryin to be girls out there, por favor mi amigas don't be spoiled bitches! You'll get your gift on Christmas Day and if your man is generous enough maybe on your birthday - just maybe. I know my man is! hahahahahaha

2. I was reading a girly magazine last weekend and almost every page I turn to has something to do with VD gift ideas. Here are some ad lines which by the way if I hear once more from anyone will surely flip me out. "Make your girl feel like a Princess" - from a diamond manufacturer. "Diamonds are a girl's bestfriend" - Diamond ad. And here's the kicker: "Bring Her to Heaven" - A Condom Ad. Need I say more why VD is overrated? See those Ad lines? Did you notice that it's all about gifts for WOMEN? How about MEN? Not that I am one but still HOW ABOUT MEN? And to tell you the truth, if I were the marketing director of those companies, I'd fire my marketing exec. Why? Because I wouldn't advertise on a "girly magazine" because the targeted audience/market of the magazine is WOMEN NOT MEN. Boo! I'd go for Men's Health (I have some hidden agenda why I'd advertise here hahahaha), GQ mag, Men's Mag. FHM. Enough of my marketing 101 for you guys, you're learning too much! Hahahaha

3. Hotel and Motel room rates go sky high on VD. Supply and Demand Theory. Ok I understand boys and girls that sometimes you want to experience luxury and splurge on some senseless sexcapades, I mean escapades. But why on VD? Why not on a Good Friday when everyone else is praying and restraining themselves from doing some earthly "sins" or perhaps on Independence day when everyone else is singing the national anthem with their right hand placed in their left chest instead of their crotches. I really don't get it. Still on Hotel and Motel thingy on VD, why is it that couples choose to have sex in hotels and motels when they can do it in their own rooms and sometimes their parents'? Oh I get it now- you want to be a little KINKY! I haven't been in a motel but I heard that on VD specially in the Filipins they offer different room designs like a forest-inspired room with trees and branches (hopefully no snakes), jungle-inspired for couples who feel like being animalistic, under-the-sea-inspried when the guy feels like being a syokoy and the girl feels like being a sirena(mermaid) etc. Ok! Way to go guys! Don't worry, I am not passing judgment here. Different strokes for different folks. I mean I'm normal you're not so it's okay...hahahahaha

4. A card, a kiss and a big hug! These are my take on VD. Write a special card girls and boys, put some glitters on it you know those shiny little dust like things that you keep on putting on your high-school projects thinking that your teacher will give you extra points for doing so, make it as mushy as possible and then seal the envelope with your saliva. Give it to your boyfriend or girlfriend. Kiss them - warning! DO NOT KISS THEM ON THE FOREHEAD! It's a NO NO! He/She did not graduate from college for you to do that! Kiss them on their lips (brush your teeth before you do it or at least a mouthwash will do), close your eyes. Give them a sweet, tender and sincere hug. And whisper in their ear: A diamond next VD will be great! Just Kidding... Gently whisper I LOVE YAH...

Alrighty Folks! That's your Tuesdays with Morrise.

I hope you enjoyed reading it!

More of HOT, JUICY, CONTROVERSIAL and SENSUAL Blogs next tuesday...

Hugs,

Morrise