Public Display of Affection - PDA: my 2 cents

Comment ca va Mon ami???

I'll be the first to admit that I am a touchy person. I love hugging my friends, kissing 'em, holding their hands, etc. (You twisted mind, I am not a street maniac like you!!!) Having said that and by the virtue of deduction, one can say that I'm pretty much the same toward the person I'm dating. However, I AM NOT! So TOUGH LUCK to my hundreds of admirers out there - NO PDA moments for us...hahahaha

Hands off please...

I gotta tell you that I feel a lil uncomfortable seeing couples place their hands in each others lap. You know what I'm sayin? This happens a lot during lunch, dinner, merienda at Ka Mameng's carenderia...hahahaha.. I just think that it's so close to "the package". I really don't know why but I do feel uncomfortable. And if you ever wanna flip me out, add rubbing your bf or gf's lap! I'm not saying it's wrong or whatever but hey, different strokes for different folks!

HHWW - Holding Hands While Walking (I love pinoys, they love to abbreviate phrases... so cute, amazing, fabulous, excellent, fantastic, churva!)

Ok, this is something I think is generally okay PROVIDED that couples DO NOT OVER DO IT!!! Some couples make it appoint to let the whole wide universe know that they are NOT SINGLE by swinging their locked-hands all the way to the sky while walking. Please!!!! Ok, fine you have a bf or a gf and I'm single! Big freakin deal! I remember a couple that never fails to irritate me every god forsaken morning back in Singapore and for some unfortunate reason I see them every morning in the bus stop. What irritates me is this. The guy wraps not just his hand but his whole arm to his gf's arm like his arm has no bones due to some calcium deficiency related diseases and what was left was just muscles and ligaments - like that of a snake. I am telling you my friends, Cathy and Sheila, can attest to this! Guys, do it in a subtle way and it will look sweet and sincere.

Keys me out of the bearded barley! (See Music Video at: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=leW9nn8ZCAM) I meant KISS me!

I can lose my sanity telling you so many things about kissing and PDA. And if I ever do, please send me to Britney's psychiatrist, will you? I swear to God if I see a friend of mine making out and kissing in public, I will tell them exactly this: "Do you know how many millions and millions of bacteria there are in your saliva? And by now you probably have ingested a potentially dangerous amount of unicellular endosporic pathogenic microorganisms that are a major cause of human death and diseases such as but not limited to diptheria, syphilis, leprocy, tuberculosis, cholera, anthrax etc.??? Let's see if they still have the powers to continue doing whatever they were doing after hearing this! hahahaha! Ok guys before I go further, I'm talking about TONGUE-TO-TONGUE kissing so relax! I mean kissing you bf/gf/fb on the cheek, lips, forehead, armpit is fine just no TONGUE action. And if there comes a time that you find yourself almost into doing it, just picture out my heavenly face with a megaphone placed in your ear and shouting those every word I said above. How about that? And do the hospitality industry a favor - get a room! Who knows both of you might get lucky and in the process produce the finest gene combination that the world could ever have thru a love child. *wink*

No Hitting Below The Belt!

Everybody stand please then Honorable Judge Judy comes in and asks everyone to sit down!

Court of Justice Case #69: The male population VS the people of the world

Court of Justice Case Description: The male population charged with ASS grabbing.

Court of Justice Case Summary: Males are accused grabbing asses while walking around the city.

Court of Justice Verdict: GUILTY beyond reasonable doubt!

Court of Justice Sentence: Amputation of both left and right arm.

Grabbing asses and butts in public is SO not cool! It's so wrong and inappropriate. I have seen these happen tons of times! And what's so peculiar about it is it happens in city streets while you are doing your typical lazy walk. What the F??? I mean grabbing asses or butts in the bedroom is a different story, even spanking is! Oh man by all means please grab and spank in the bedroom! But come on now, while walking and in public? And by the way, I'm not talking about grabbing the belt loop, I'm really talking about ASSES! You know asses right? Those round sometimes flat, those sagging sometimes bubble like part of your body...hahaha. If I see you guys doing it or letting your bf/gf/fb do it to you, you will get some real spanking from me! I bet you'd like that!

This is my 2 cents, what's yours?

HUGS,

Morrise

"Games Couple Play" - my TWM HOT Topic

Hello folks! It's Tuesday and it's indeed Tuesdays with Morrise!!!!

I have been thinking about this topic for quite a long time now and I never really spent a good amount of time contemplating about this until I saw George W. Bush in his State of the Union Address last night... just kidding (he is full of rubbish btw!)... until I revisited my Sex and the City DVDs.

Here's the ONE MILLION DOLLAR question guys and I want you to be honest and sincere about this, ok?

Do YOU have to play games and lies to make a relationship work?

Guilty??? Listen, I think everyone is...

I called a friend of mine last night and ask him if he ever tells his girlfriend lies to make their relationship work. Without batting an eye he said: HELL YEAH!!! I hanged up on him and told him I have to make another call.

I called another friend, Niki, and asked her the same question. Do you tell your boyfriend lies to make your relationship work? She replied: Of course!

While driving home, I asked myself the same question: Did I ever tell my "Exes" (plural, you see that???? hahahaha) lies to make the relationship work? My answer: NO.... No shit, I did!!! hahahaha...

So therefore, for that reason or cause, consequently, hence and whatever adverb you can think of, "Practically all the realtionships I know are based on a foundation of lies and mutually accepted delusion."

It makes me think, are lies and games naturally part of any relationship? Can a relationship withstand the tests of harsh truth? Is there a relationship that is solely based on honesty, good faith and sincerity?

What if the time comes and your bf or gf asks you this: Did you ever tell me lies and played games to make our relationship work? What's the best answer to this scary question? I think it is pretty scary and everyone should be prepared when this ungodly time comes... Don't you think?

I'm pretty sure that I have more questions than answers on this topic.

Do me a favor friends, folks and readers, think about the question and give me your thoughts about it.

You probably have heard the same questions on certain occasions but never really paid enough attention to it. This time, you should!

I'm waiting... in vain... hahahaha

Hugs,

Morrise

Parenting 101: Sunday Mass Etiquette... Ggggrrrrrrr

Before I start, let me give you some definition of terms taken from Tuesdays With Morrise (TWM) School of Behavioral Sciences a.k.a. School for the Socially and Mentally challenged people!

Etiquette: TWM defines Etiquette as rules governing socially acceptable behavior. Ok guys, the operative word here is ACCEPTABLE!

Parenting 101: TWM defines Parenting 101 as a class that offers parents, live-in partners, stupid straight couples that didn't use protection, gay couples and some primate couples that are smarter than human beings, courses on "How to raise a child and how to make your kids obedient, respectful, kind and most importantly.... a God-fearing child. I'll tell you why I put God-Fearing as the most important part of the Parenting 101 course.

I went to Sunday Mass early yesterday. I braved the cold weather and wrapped myself with 4 layers of clothes, gloves and ear mops. You know, for one thing I know how to say a prayer.

I love the atmosphere of the cathedral where I go to on Sundays. It's a 130 year old cathedral. The cathedral offers Baroque style of architecture that is characterized by dramatic light and shades and silhouettes, sweeping curves and a general effect of fantastic opulence. It gives me some source of tranquility and peace of mind. The voice of the cathedral's choir gives me goose bumps everytime I hear them sing.

Everything sounds perfect guys, right??? Until... (drum roll please...) you hear a baby crying inside the cathedral!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And I don't mean the kind of sobbing little cry but the endless, ear drum-tearing, screaming type of cry, you know what I mean??? Jesus Christ! It's so annoying! There you are, concentrating on the teachings of Christ and telling God that you'll never commit the same sins again (which by the way you keep telling God everytime you go to mass) and all you can hear is a freakin' baby tearing your ear drums!!! What the F???

To make the story even more worst, the parent lined up with their crying baby for the communion!!!! I understand that they wanted to get their, you know, body of christ but come on now parents!!!! I swear to god, I wanted to snatch their kid and bring it out of the cathedral and spank his little cute butt until he can cry no more!

Ok parents, I understand that you wanted your kids to grow up God-fearing and everything and praying to God that they won't engage into drugs or pre-marital sex like you did when you were growing up yada yada. But please do the community of Christ a big favor, Once your baby starts crying uncontrollably, bring them out of the church until they stop crying and then you are more than welcome to bring them back (if I decide not to lock the cathedral's doors hahahaha)

If you know that your kid gets uncomfortable everytime you bring 'em to church (hopefully they feel uncomfortable because of their diapers or whatever and NOT because of the presence of holy images and the holy water...hahahaha), then leave 'em at home. Hire a nanny for God sake or leave 'em at the care of somebody who is willing and you trust or bring them to a nursery care or ask a nun to baby sit your child while you hear the mass, I'm sure the nun wouldn't mind.

Also, I know of some churches that have nursery facilities already. That's a plus points on your list of things to do to go to heaven!

Don't get me wrong folks, I love love love kids... I swear to papa God. I love them to death until they start crying like there's no tomorrow.

That's what you call PARENTING 101 from TWM, ok?

I'm sure my readers have experienced this same thing that I have. Isn't it annoying and frustrating?

So promise me my dear readers that you will take this Parenting 101 lesson anywhere you go most specially when you guys become parents and decide to pass your beautiful genes to your kids or procreate. OK???

And if you are a guilty parent charged with this case of mine. There's a way to be good again (-The Kite Runner).

Hugs,

Morrise

Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton: why I hate/love 'em!

Hola mi amigos!

I was walking my dog, snickers, this morning at Clark Park which is two blocks away from my apartment when I bumped into an old friend which I haven't seen for God knows how long. As usual, you have your "what's up" and "what's goin on with you" kinda talk. Along our catching up moment, she started asking me about what I think of Britney Spears and the things going on in her life. I thought to myself: DO I LOOK LIKE RYAN SEACREST OF E? Well, to be honest I thought I was better looking than Ryan Seacrest...(WARNING: VIOLENT REACTIONS are not allowed while reading my blogs!). Anyway, so i gave her my 2 cents about Britney.

After snickers peed and pood and on my way back to my apartment, I decided to blog about Britney AND LINDSAY and PARIS on why I hate/love them... hahahaha... Here you go.

1. Paris Hilton


LOVE: For one thing, she knows a thing or two about fashion. Love those stilettos baby!
HATE: I hate her for having those, hmmmm, i find it hard to say it... those great legs!!!! I HATE YOU! (Talk about sour graping)
LOVE: I love her for showing the world the beauty of her sex tape. Her cute bf's pee pee and her cute bra and undies.
HATE: I hate her for having sets of cute and hunky bf - remember the Tommy Hilfiger model, the guy with the name Paris Latsis, Jason Shaw and Stavros Niarchos (the heir to a shipping tycoon) to name a few... Paris, if you need some help to handle those boys, I'm just a phone call away...
LOVE: I love her expression: "That's Hot..." And by the way highway: she applied for a trademark for that expression!!!! Damn, why didn't I think of that??!!!???? Mine will be: "That's hotness...." sounds similar??? I don't care
HATE: She published a book called: Confessions of a Heiress... Imagine that - a blond girl has a published book, while a brunette girl like me is still writing things in a blogsite... hahahaha



Whatever people say about Paris, it doesn't matter. I'm telling you the girl is here to stay... I deserve a discounted rate at Waldorf Astoria!!!

2. Lindsay Lohan

I don't have anything to say about this girl. I don't like her at all. She's doomed! Rehab became her middle name! 'Nough said!!!!

3. Hit me baby one more time girl!!!! Britney Spears!

LOVE: She made my high school year fun! hahahaha... hit me baby one more time? remember?
HATE: She broke Justin Timberlake's heart and I quote him: "Something happened... Something very bad happened..." To Britney: How dare you! To Justin: Come to mommy, i'll take care of you!!! hahaha
LOVE: She got back into her senses by divorcing Kevin Federline a.k.a. gold digger-trying hard to be rapper- self-deluded asshole! Finally, you did something right!!!!!!
HATE: That she even married, what's his name again, oh Kevin Federline. Duh???
LOVE: She made me feel good about my body after seeing her in the VMA 2007 dancing like a bloated bull frog...hahaha not to forget lip synching and forgetting the lyrics of her own song...hahaha
HATE: That nobody told her that she shouldn't wear a "bra-top" and a skimpy shorts for the VMA... lol

What do u think guys?

Time to take a shower and pretty up for P's birthday...

Hugs,
Morrise

How to get NOTICED by Your Ultimate Crush!!!

Hello girls and boys! How you all doing? TGIF!!!!

9pm last night and after a long day at work a neighbor/good friend Niki came knocking on my door (as usual, unannounced!!!) with a two bottles in hand - a Grey goose and a cranberry! Perfect! We call this - the vodka night! I LOVE LOVE LOVE this thing called "spur of the moment"!!!! Way to go Niki!

I love hanging out with Niki because she talks a lot! And I mean the girl can talk a lot lot lot! She's your typical african-american girl that bitches about anything and everything but don't you dare judge her! The girl is a LAW STUDENT at UPENN (Ivy League mah baby!).

So last night we talked about so many things and I wanted to share one of our easy, breezy, beautiful (Covergirl Ad...hahahaha) topics: HOW TO GET NOTICED BY YOUR ULTIMATE CRUSH!

1. Leave Your Watch at HOME! For Boys and Girls!

Don't wear a watch and keep your mobile phone (put it in vibrate or silent mode too) in your purse/bag/undies! This will give you a chance to ask him/her if he/she has the time. If he/she doesn't have a watch, i'm tellin you girl/boy - FORGET ABOUT HIM/HER! Why? I think a watch is an essential accesory most specially for guys. You know what I'm sayin???(Snoop Dog tone) If he can't get himself a watch, what makes you think he's gonna get you one??? And also, this will give him/her the excuse when he/she comes late on your date in a "karinderya" (local eatery).

2. For Girls: If you knew that you'll bump into your CRUSH: WEAR A SKIMPY SKIRT or plunging-boob exposing shirt or dress!

Let's admit it, boys like seeing legs and/or 2 mountains or sometimes hills for small breasts - if they can have both then DAMN you're a winner!!!! They really do. After all, they are guys! WARNING and ALERT: I'm sure you are thinking of a $1 hooker get-up. No you mothafucka! Dress up sexy! I know there's a thin line that separates sexiness and "whoreness". So ask your dad first what he thinks...hahahaha. Just beware of NOT looking like $1 hooker, OK?

3. For Boys: This is easy for you guys: Wear or Bring any SPORTS ACCESSORIES!

Hmmm example: Wear an Equestrian Suit! How about a hockey helmet while you are walking in the halls of your school or office? Or wear a swimming trunks while grocery shopping in K-Mart. Maybe bring a skateboard while dressed up in a formal suit? No!!!! Seriously guys, WOMEN love men involved in SPORTS. The athleticism involved is so powerful for them. It drives them nuts and they'd go gaga over you!

4. For Girls: Act smart!!!

I've seen lots of girls lose it when they see their crushes. They either faint or act as if she was dipped in the unforgiving seas of NORTH POLE. Come on now! Get your act together WOMAN! Impress your guys with smart talks and sensible comments. Here's a good example of a girl losing it:

Girl: I like the color of your hair... (wow, sounds like a promising comment)

Boy: Thank you.

Girl: Is it your natural hair? (ok, it still sounds reasonable to ask)

Boy: Yeah.

Girl: Can I Touch it? (hmmm, i'm seeing red flags!)

Boy: Sure

Girl: Can I smell it? (hmmm, scary bitch!!!)

Boy: (Giving the girl a dumbfounded look)

Girl: I think you need some new shampoo and conditioner and I can recommend some if you want and we can buy it together... yada yada yada... and the girl went on forever...

It's the END OF YOUR WORLD HONEY!

It's simple girls, act SMART!

5. For Boys: Talk about how you love your MOM, yes your MOTHER!

Girls love it when boys talk about how they respect and love their moms. It gives them an idea of how you will treat them. However, don't overdo it and sound like a big, creepy and spoiled MAMA's boy! Wait for the perfect chance to slide it in the context of the conversation. I mean if you guys are talking about baseball or watching a sports event, you don't go like: OH MAN I LOVE MY MOM!!! in the middle of the game or something! What a psycho!

6. For Girls: IGNORE! IGNORE! IGNORE!

Sometimes this works, sometimes it doesn't. So be careful! Some guys find it challenging when girls ignore them (Most specially those "i-know-i'm-good looking type of guys). So the rule applies: the 3 Is. But don't be such a bitch! Smile and move on kind of ignoring is what I'm talking about! NOT the kind of "i'm better than you are little twat" ignore. Ok???

I'm sure you guys have your own tactics and sometimes magical potions to get noticed by your crushes...hahahaha

Lemme know some of them...

And I hope this tips help you get laid I mean get noticed by your crush!!!

Bueno, Adios mi amigos!!!

Hugs,

Morrise

Pinoy vs Kano (Filipinos vs Americans)

Before we proceed girls and boys, I have an exercise for you! Acting 101: Try to look at yourself in the mirror and say this line in different ways like: seductive, angry, cutesy, serious, laughing, sad, crying, etc… Ready??? Here’s your acting 101 line for the day: “You are the most gorgeous creature on earth!” I bet some of you are already doing it now… hahahahahaha

I was listening to The Booker Show on Philly’s Q102.1 this morning on my way to work. They were talking about Americans vs Brits. They were talking about how “better” the Brits are in some matters like manners than Americans. I know they were being honest but I won’t do that kind of “let-down” talk to my fellow Pinoys!!! I won’t let you down by talking about how bad we are in comprehending the difference between NO LOITERING and NO LITTERING, on how we constantly violate traffic rules, on how “amazing” we are when it comes to PUNCTUALITY or the so called: FILIPINO TIME so on and so forth… hahahaha. Oh well, this time it’s not going to be about the Brits. It’s about no other than (dan da da dan… that’s a drum roll btw) the PINOY vs KANO (Filipino vs American for my international readers).

Brace yourself guys, here you go!

1. Pinoys are better communicators than Americans!

And I swear to Papa God this is so true! I am a beauty pageant fanatic and I love the Q&A portion of the contest. Why is this even relevant to my first point? I will tell you - patience is a virtue guys! I'm pretty sure some of you have seen the youtube clip if not the live telecast of Ms. Teen South Carolina during the 2007 Miss Teen USA competition. If not, you are not from this world. hahaha. Ok, for the benefit of "straight/heterosexual" readers that don't watch beauty contests, here's the link to Ms. South Carolina's YouTube clip: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qQdhMSEqhfg. Did you guys click and relive the horrific moment? Que Horror! If you ask the same question to a Filipino pageant contestant in "Ms. Baranggay" beauty contest., he/she/it may not be able to give you a well constructed, grammatically correct and flawless answer BUT BUT BUT he/she/it would be able to relay the answer in a more understandable and more practical way. I was thinking he/she/it would say: Can you repeat the question? Then smiles then asks the judge to repeat the question again and FINALLY an answer! Like what I said, a better answer to the question. hahahahaha

2. Pinoys have this uncanny ability to learn foreign languages faster than anyone in the world - much more than an American.

I was in Frankfurt Germany airport August of last year on my way back to the US. I went to duty free to buy some tsokolate(chocolate) for of course, myself. I went in line to pay the goodies and behind the cashier's counter was a hunky, tall, dark and still dark and tall guy speaking German to the guy in front of me. And guess what!?!?!? Pinoy ang lolo mo! (He is a Filipino!) And as expected, being the stingy person that I am, I asked him if he can give me a discount and he politely said: Gaga! Hindi to Pilipinas! (You fool! This is not the Philippines) After he said that, my instinct was affirmed. Judingels ang lolo mo! (He is gay!) hahahahaha. The bottom line is, we learn languages fast. Cultural Immersion is something we can cope up with easily making it easy for us to learn a foreign language.

3. Pinoys dress up better than Americans.

The reason why the US is so popular in terms of Designer clothes is simply because they NEED it more than we do for heaven sake. Jeeezzz, walk in the streets of LA, New York, Chicago, San Francisco, Quiapo (sorry Quiapo is in the Philippines, my bad) and you'll see those Kano with like baggy sweat pants, over sized tops, etc. We definitely dress better than they do. PERIOD.

I could go on forever and tell you guys what other things PINOYS can do better than KANO but I'll stop here for the moment and let you do your acting 101 excercise. OK?

Lemme know your thoughts about this too, feel free to voice out your comments on this topic most specially if you are PINOY!

Hugs,

Morrise

10 Things I Like about Heath Ledger - I lied Just 5 Things - Lazy

Hello you all!

I feel like I'm Michelle Williams today (hahahaha...) - So down and devastated. Or shall I say Jake Gyllenhaal as Jack Twist in Brokeback Mountain. Whatever works for me. You know I'm bisexual (and then there were thunders!!!!!)

Have you guys seen 10 Things I hate About You? I like it but I'm not so crazy about it. It's ok in short. Today, It's not 10 things I HATE but 5 things I LIKE ABOUT MY EX-BF Heath Ledger... (OMG, the earth is shaking...)

1. The guy knew how to act. At least comparing him to hmmm lemme think, Keanu Reeves!!! Has he ever been decent in a film? I just cannot think of a single instance of quality acting. Even the one film everyone loves (The Matrix) suited him only because the main character was a wet fish. Sorry Keanu - you suck!

2. The I-Don't-Think-I'm-Good-Looking Attitude. Sure, he doesn't have the most perfect, most chiseled, model-looking face but hey, the guy has sex appeal that makes him goodlooking. And what's so sexy about it is that he doesn't know that he is sexy. Love those kind of guys. Wait a sec, drooling, drooling...

3. He is not greedy for senseless motion picture roles! I have a Ukranian co-worker and this morning I started chatting with her about how shocked I was on Heath Ledger's passing and being the big mouth that I am, I didn't stop talking like for half an hour non-stop only to find out in the end that she doesn't know who I was talking about! What the F!!! Well, it only proved one thing - Heath chose his roles really well. From cutesy 10 Things I Hate about you to Casanova, from The Patriot to Brokeback Mountain and this summer see Heath as the young Joker in the new Batman Film-The Dark Night!

4. He knew how to keep his cute MOUTH shut! Entertainment hosts and anchors had difficulty asking Heath about his Personal Life. I remember seeing him got pissed with an E reporter in 2006 Oscar's Red Carpet event when the reporter tried to ask a personal question to my EX BF. We're like bestfriends you know and it was so nice of him not to talk about our relationship that year... thunders, more thunders and a long nose when I wake up - Pinocchio! hahahaha

5. Lastly, he gave the world a better view about HOMOSEXUALITY with his excellent performance in Brokeback Mountain. Homos are everywhere even in the mountains of Wyoming you all. There's no STOPPING US!!! bwahahaha... And for those closet queenies, it's okay to be gay and different. Come out! Come out! IT"S OKAY!!!

I feel better now folks...

I know that my EX BF (Oh my Lord, I think i was just hit by an asteroid in the head) is happier than ever where ever he is right now... I just have one wish, don't visit me Heath... I can see dead people...

I lock you in my heart Heath only if you grant my wish above... hahahaha

Goodnite folks!!!!

Hugs,

Morrise

A "Gay" Hero Dies - Farewell Heath Ledger...

"I Wish I Knew How To Quit You."

One of the famous lines in the 2005 blockbuster Brokeback Mountain. I'm sure you guys remember Ennis Del Mar and Jack Twist. The infamous two young men that shared intimate moments in the mountains of Wyoming sheep herding.

I have no idea why I feel so sad about his passing. And I mean I'm deeply saddened by the news. I really am.

I can't even gather my thoughts right now and blog. I just can't...

My sympathy to his family...

Rest in peace Ennis.... Farewell...

It's Tuesday and You Know What That Means! Hot, Controversial and Sizzling Blog from Yours Truly

Hello Folks!

Hope everyone is well and good despite the bone-chilling weather (I think Al Gore is right on his documentary about Global Warming entitled: An Inconvenient Truth - hands down to you Mi Amigo! Hugs and Kisses). Before you airheads get confused, global warming also affects the winter season not just summer - that's my Earth Science 101 for you guys!

It's Tuesday - it's my day! And every Tuesday, We are going to talk about a topic that is HOT, CONTROVERSIAL, SENSUAL, Something you won't ask nor discuss with your mother or father not even your boytoy or girltoy(I am applying for a patent right for this word by the way) in other words, we are going to talk about (drum roll please.....) "Association analyses between the prion protein locus and reproductive and lamb weight traits in Ripollesa sheep" hahahahahaha... Just playin...

Since I mentioned Hot, Controversial and Sensual, today I decided to blab about: Sex, Gifts and Valentine's Day(VD) (Valentimes for some jolog friends) hahahaha. I know it's still pretty early but I want to offer you some pieces of mushy advice and creative ideas on how to make your "VALENTIMES" a memory that will last a life time.;-)

Are you all ears girls and boys, gays and lesbians?

Let me start by saying that sex on VD is sooooo overrated. Why the hell is it a big deal for couple(straight or gay)/lovers/fuckbuddy/FWB(friends with benefit)/adulterers(i know some friends who are guilty) most specially in the Filipins? Why, why, why dellilah?

Let me tell you some reasons why I think VD is sooooo overrated.

1. I got a call from a supposedly straight friend of mine from Chicago a couple of days ago asking me for some ideas for gifts to give her "not-so-pretty" gf this VD. He said that I should be good at this since I'm gay. Rub it in my face you moron! I said I'll call him back for some ideas. So after a day, I did. I told him to give her a kiss and a hug. I'm serious. I told him that that's all he needs to give to her "not-so-pretty" gf. He replied: That's it? Yeah dickhead that's it! Come on now guys, VD is a day of loving. IT'S NOT CHRISTMAS DAY where you can play monito-monita (for those who don't know monito-monita, ask a filipino walking in the streets. How would you know if it's a Filipino? If he calls another person and says...pssssssst. And when his/her breath smells like soy sauce and vinegar from eating ADOBO - yummm!!!. You can be sure it's a Filipino and you can bet your ass on it). Anyway, VD is not Christmas Day. Period. So for girls and tryin to be girls out there, por favor mi amigas don't be spoiled bitches! You'll get your gift on Christmas Day and if your man is generous enough maybe on your birthday - just maybe. I know my man is! hahahahahaha

2. I was reading a girly magazine last weekend and almost every page I turn to has something to do with VD gift ideas. Here are some ad lines which by the way if I hear once more from anyone will surely flip me out. "Make your girl feel like a Princess" - from a diamond manufacturer. "Diamonds are a girl's bestfriend" - Diamond ad. And here's the kicker: "Bring Her to Heaven" - A Condom Ad. Need I say more why VD is overrated? See those Ad lines? Did you notice that it's all about gifts for WOMEN? How about MEN? Not that I am one but still HOW ABOUT MEN? And to tell you the truth, if I were the marketing director of those companies, I'd fire my marketing exec. Why? Because I wouldn't advertise on a "girly magazine" because the targeted audience/market of the magazine is WOMEN NOT MEN. Boo! I'd go for Men's Health (I have some hidden agenda why I'd advertise here hahahaha), GQ mag, Men's Mag. FHM. Enough of my marketing 101 for you guys, you're learning too much! Hahahaha

3. Hotel and Motel room rates go sky high on VD. Supply and Demand Theory. Ok I understand boys and girls that sometimes you want to experience luxury and splurge on some senseless sexcapades, I mean escapades. But why on VD? Why not on a Good Friday when everyone else is praying and restraining themselves from doing some earthly "sins" or perhaps on Independence day when everyone else is singing the national anthem with their right hand placed in their left chest instead of their crotches. I really don't get it. Still on Hotel and Motel thingy on VD, why is it that couples choose to have sex in hotels and motels when they can do it in their own rooms and sometimes their parents'? Oh I get it now- you want to be a little KINKY! I haven't been in a motel but I heard that on VD specially in the Filipins they offer different room designs like a forest-inspired room with trees and branches (hopefully no snakes), jungle-inspired for couples who feel like being animalistic, under-the-sea-inspried when the guy feels like being a syokoy and the girl feels like being a sirena(mermaid) etc. Ok! Way to go guys! Don't worry, I am not passing judgment here. Different strokes for different folks. I mean I'm normal you're not so it's okay...hahahahaha

4. A card, a kiss and a big hug! These are my take on VD. Write a special card girls and boys, put some glitters on it you know those shiny little dust like things that you keep on putting on your high-school projects thinking that your teacher will give you extra points for doing so, make it as mushy as possible and then seal the envelope with your saliva. Give it to your boyfriend or girlfriend. Kiss them - warning! DO NOT KISS THEM ON THE FOREHEAD! It's a NO NO! He/She did not graduate from college for you to do that! Kiss them on their lips (brush your teeth before you do it or at least a mouthwash will do), close your eyes. Give them a sweet, tender and sincere hug. And whisper in their ear: A diamond next VD will be great! Just Kidding... Gently whisper I LOVE YAH...

Alrighty Folks! That's your Tuesdays with Morrise.

I hope you enjoyed reading it!

More of HOT, JUICY, CONTROVERSIAL and SENSUAL Blogs next tuesday...

Hugs,

Morrise

Polls, Music and Articles You'll love...

Hello folks!

I am trying to customize my page by adding up some elements like polls, music box (I choose the artist since this is my page hahahaha) and some articles about anything that I think will interest you...

Since I love my readers, I will be updating these elements constantly so that you'll have the best blog-reading experience of your life!

Well, what are you waiting for??? Grab the mouse, look for the poll and use some brain cells and answer my current poll!!!

For the music box and link, I will update this on a daily basis. And of course just like American Idol which by the way had it's first episode last Tuesday in the City of Brotherly Love - Philadelphia (I so love it!!! Hahahahaha), you'll get the chance to VOTE for the artist of the day or the week or the month or the year or the decade or the century... STOP IT (Have you heard Britney's weird British accent, uggghhh Bloody psycho!!!). You can email me or place a comment on this blog (hello??? where else are you supposed to comment??? duh!!!!)

More to come for you folks...

Hugs,

Morrise

Note: Photo attached was taken last Thursday Jan. 17... Want some snow, take it all with you... We don't want 'em... hahahaha

When She is a He - The Art of Cross Dressing

"She's so gorgeous! She's so pretty! She's so sexy! She is so... OH holy cow, she is a HE???!!!!!"

I have lots and I mean lots of gay friends and trying-to-be gay friends...hahahaha... And I LOVE THEM to death. They are fun, outgoing, funny, pretty(sometimes prettier than real girls no offense just telling the truth girls), real, and you can have all the gay-related adjectives lined up here like fabulous, hot... jeeezzz, so gay... hahahahaha. Oh well what can we do, we are indeed fab to the nth degree!

The main character of this blog is a very good friend of mine - let's just call him/her WATERLILLY. Waterlilly and I met in a bar in Philly called: WOODYS. I was sitting down in the club bench while my "i-don't-give a -fuck" friends are dancing to the tune of I wanna Dance with somebody(remix) when all of a sudden I heard a heavenly and angelic voice not to forget a pretty face: "HI, My name is Waterlilly. What's yours?" I smiled and replied: "HI, I'm Seaweed!" hahahahaha. The rest is history as far as our friendship is concerned.

Before I completely miss the point of this blog Waterlilly is a Cross dresser. Time to jot down some notes - Gay 101 defines cross-dressing as the act if wearing clothing commonly associated with another gender within a particular society. To make it simple, imagine your dad dressed as a woman like that of your mom - ewwwww scary! Erase that thought.

I, personally believe (imagine Ms. Teen South Carolina talking) that cross-dressing is an art by itself. I mean I should know because I have hands on experience on it. To put it bluntly, I have cross dressed - and I look damn hot in it! Want some proof, email me and I can send you my pics! Bwahahaha

Why is it an art? Because it's like sculpting and painting. Imagine your own face as the canvas and say MAC (which by the way has the best eye lash primer - I mean it gives your lashes the body and length and boom goodbye false eye lashes and hello tantalizing eyes!), Lancome or Bobby Brown are your paints and brushes and to make a beauty out of your hopeless face is like DaVinci painting the Monalisa (just don't take years in putting on the make up like it took DaVinci to finish the Monalisa). I swear to God choosing the right colors, the right tone of foundation, the right brush to use takes more than just mix and matching. It takes imagination, creativity, fabulousness and a sift of gayness! That reason alone gives cross-dressing the "Best in ART award" from my beauty institute.

Wait! It's not done yet! It's just the face. How about the hair? I mean the WIG. Choosing the right wig style and cut is VERY important. It should compliment the shape of your face. If your face is like that of Sponge Bob my advice to you is - you're hopeless and forget about cross-dressing. Try jumping off the Benjamin Franklin Bridge. But seriously, and this applies to you girls. The hairstyle is very important be it on wig or on your real hair! For more tips on hairstyle, send me your mug shot, I mean your photo, and I will tell you what hairstyle fits you.

Next - the Dress! Ooopppsss and not to forget the paddings...hahahaha. Waterlilly is a very good example of an excellent cross dresser. For one thing, he/she/it knows what dress compliments him/her/it. hahahaha. Ok homos, reality check! Most cross-dressing "men" do not realize the fact that we (including me) are not so blessed with the SHAKIRA HIPS that women have. Having said that, if you are not using any paddings, then for gayness-sake, DO NOT and I swear to Dr. Martin Luther King (it's his day today) I will pull your wig out of your dandruff-filled head if you DO - DO NOT wear tight dresses that show off your non coca-cola figure! It's very unflattering! Wear something that hugs your fake boobs/duct-taped boobs/perhaps your silicone-injected breast and is kinda sorta flowing dress. An empire cut is a good example. And if you ever decide to put on a figure hugging dress, then run to the closest K-Mart and buy some paddings, did I make myself clear?

Accessories - make sure you choose the right accessories like your earrings, bracelets, bags, purse, etc. Don't over accessorize and look like a $1 hooker.

I have attached a picture of waterlilly for your entertainment. Enjoy him/her/it.

Till next time Folks!

Hugs,

Morrise

You're gonna LOVE me...

Mabuhay! Hello! Hallo! Goedendag! Bonjour! Ahoj! Namaste! Hola! Ciao! Salaam! Sawa dee-krap! Ni Hao!

Finally! After procrastinating for God knows how long, I am ready to share my thoughts about anything and everything to the beautiful people of the world. And when I say anything and everything, you can bet you A** that it's going to be anything from the hair in your armpit to the the president wannabes; from Britney Spears Saga to hmmm still Britney Spears Endless Saga; from how to increase the size of your peepee, to how to increase your income and the list goes on and on and on....Okay, you can stop here.

As a starter, let me introduce myself to you. Drum roll please...

I am sure You're gonna LOVE me...(jennifer hudson version please)You can call me Morrise - here's the kicker: My name is pronounced this way: Say the name Maurice(Mawreees) and instead of saying MAW (Mau) you drop the letter W and just say Mo not MOW. (I can tell you are saying my name...good job!) The emphasis is in reeeess. So you have to say my name fast as if you are being chased by a friend of yours whom you still owe some money to carrying a shotgun. Whatever! Just call me whatever you like to call me.

Anyway, going back to my much awaited world premiere, I meant the launch of my blog site, I am a witty guy with a big heart looking for someone who will laugh at my quips and has an even bigger heart than I do. I moved to Philly from SG & London May of 2006. I hope to make friends and find the yin to my yang... so to speak. Raised by a loving Asian family, I can pour on the Oriental charm when it behooves me to do so which is most of the time.

I am generally sane minus the occasional hypoglycemic tantrum. Scientifically trained yet artistically inclined. Musically right-brained. A stubborn egalitarian. A perfectionist. A people-pleaser. Animated one minute and pensive the next. Naive and oblivious. My sleeve is where my heart is. A big daydreamer; often caught zoned out and staring into space. Introspective and calculated. Possess a certain maturity well beyond my years, but manage to keep my inner child intact. Very playful and at times mildly naughty, but always affectionate. Modest, respectful, chivalrous. Not nearly as tough as I let on, in reality I'm mild-mannered and a huge cuddle-bum. Always in need of comic relief. My sense of humor errs on goofy and sarcastic, but always in jest and never to the detriment of other people's feelings. Soft-spoken and never confrontational but WILL NOT put up with any form of violence. Overprotective of people I love.Exhibit this deceptive layer of confidence but truth be told, I'm absolutely terrified of men. - NOTE: this was taken from my match.com, myspace and friendster account description... hahahaha

Enough about me. Let's talk about something else. How about Sex? Love? Celebrities? Money? Elections? Gossips? Anti-wrinkle cream? Boob Job? Nose Job? Did I mention SEX? hahahaha

Ok Folks, time to keep the ball rollin!

As they say it in spanish... Bueno... Adios mi Amigo...

Much Love,

Morrise