"She's so gorgeous! She's so pretty! She's so sexy! She is so... OH holy cow, she is a HE???!!!!!"
I have lots and I mean lots of gay friends and trying-to-be gay friends...hahahaha... And I LOVE THEM to death. They are fun, outgoing, funny, pretty(sometimes prettier than real girls no offense just telling the truth girls), real, and you can have all the gay-related adjectives lined up here like fabulous, hot... jeeezzz, so gay... hahahahaha. Oh well what can we do, we are indeed fab to the nth degree!
The main character of this blog is a very good friend of mine - let's just call him/her WATERLILLY. Waterlilly and I met in a bar in Philly called: WOODYS. I was sitting down in the club bench while my "i-don't-give a -fuck" friends are dancing to the tune of I wanna Dance with somebody(remix) when all of a sudden I heard a heavenly and angelic voice not to forget a pretty face: "HI, My name is Waterlilly. What's yours?" I smiled and replied: "HI, I'm Seaweed!" hahahahaha. The rest is history as far as our friendship is concerned.
Before I completely miss the point of this blog Waterlilly is a Cross dresser. Time to jot down some notes - Gay 101 defines cross-dressing as the act if wearing clothing commonly associated with another gender within a particular society. To make it simple, imagine your dad dressed as a woman like that of your mom - ewwwww scary! Erase that thought.
I, personally believe (imagine Ms. Teen South Carolina talking) that cross-dressing is an art by itself. I mean I should know because I have hands on experience on it. To put it bluntly, I have cross dressed - and I look damn hot in it! Want some proof, email me and I can send you my pics! Bwahahaha
Why is it an art? Because it's like sculpting and painting. Imagine your own face as the canvas and say MAC (which by the way has the best eye lash primer - I mean it gives your lashes the body and length and boom goodbye false eye lashes and hello tantalizing eyes!), Lancome or Bobby Brown are your paints and brushes and to make a beauty out of your hopeless face is like DaVinci painting the Monalisa (just don't take years in putting on the make up like it took DaVinci to finish the Monalisa). I swear to God choosing the right colors, the right tone of foundation, the right brush to use takes more than just mix and matching. It takes imagination, creativity, fabulousness and a sift of gayness! That reason alone gives cross-dressing the "Best in ART award" from my beauty institute.
Wait! It's not done yet! It's just the face. How about the hair? I mean the WIG. Choosing the right wig style and cut is VERY important. It should compliment the shape of your face. If your face is like that of Sponge Bob my advice to you is - you're hopeless and forget about cross-dressing. Try jumping off the Benjamin Franklin Bridge. But seriously, and this applies to you girls. The hairstyle is very important be it on wig or on your real hair! For more tips on hairstyle, send me your mug shot, I mean your photo, and I will tell you what hairstyle fits you.
Next - the Dress! Ooopppsss and not to forget the paddings...hahahaha. Waterlilly is a very good example of an excellent cross dresser. For one thing, he/she/it knows what dress compliments him/her/it. hahahaha. Ok homos, reality check! Most cross-dressing "men" do not realize the fact that we (including me) are not so blessed with the SHAKIRA HIPS that women have. Having said that, if you are not using any paddings, then for gayness-sake, DO NOT and I swear to Dr. Martin Luther King (it's his day today) I will pull your wig out of your dandruff-filled head if you DO - DO NOT wear tight dresses that show off your non coca-cola figure! It's very unflattering! Wear something that hugs your fake boobs/duct-taped boobs/perhaps your silicone-injected breast and is kinda sorta flowing dress. An empire cut is a good example. And if you ever decide to put on a figure hugging dress, then run to the closest K-Mart and buy some paddings, did I make myself clear?
Accessories - make sure you choose the right accessories like your earrings, bracelets, bags, purse, etc. Don't over accessorize and look like a $1 hooker.
I have attached a picture of waterlilly for your entertainment. Enjoy him/her/it.
Till next time Folks!
Hugs,
Morrise
