Pinoy vs Kano (Filipinos vs Americans)

Before we proceed girls and boys, I have an exercise for you! Acting 101: Try to look at yourself in the mirror and say this line in different ways like: seductive, angry, cutesy, serious, laughing, sad, crying, etc… Ready??? Here’s your acting 101 line for the day: “You are the most gorgeous creature on earth!” I bet some of you are already doing it now… hahahahahaha

I was listening to The Booker Show on Philly’s Q102.1 this morning on my way to work. They were talking about Americans vs Brits. They were talking about how “better” the Brits are in some matters like manners than Americans. I know they were being honest but I won’t do that kind of “let-down” talk to my fellow Pinoys!!! I won’t let you down by talking about how bad we are in comprehending the difference between NO LOITERING and NO LITTERING, on how we constantly violate traffic rules, on how “amazing” we are when it comes to PUNCTUALITY or the so called: FILIPINO TIME so on and so forth… hahahaha. Oh well, this time it’s not going to be about the Brits. It’s about no other than (dan da da dan… that’s a drum roll btw) the PINOY vs KANO (Filipino vs American for my international readers).

Brace yourself guys, here you go!

1. Pinoys are better communicators than Americans!

And I swear to Papa God this is so true! I am a beauty pageant fanatic and I love the Q&A portion of the contest. Why is this even relevant to my first point? I will tell you - patience is a virtue guys! I'm pretty sure some of you have seen the youtube clip if not the live telecast of Ms. Teen South Carolina during the 2007 Miss Teen USA competition. If not, you are not from this world. hahaha. Ok, for the benefit of "straight/heterosexual" readers that don't watch beauty contests, here's the link to Ms. South Carolina's YouTube clip: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qQdhMSEqhfg. Did you guys click and relive the horrific moment? Que Horror! If you ask the same question to a Filipino pageant contestant in "Ms. Baranggay" beauty contest., he/she/it may not be able to give you a well constructed, grammatically correct and flawless answer BUT BUT BUT he/she/it would be able to relay the answer in a more understandable and more practical way. I was thinking he/she/it would say: Can you repeat the question? Then smiles then asks the judge to repeat the question again and FINALLY an answer! Like what I said, a better answer to the question. hahahahaha

2. Pinoys have this uncanny ability to learn foreign languages faster than anyone in the world - much more than an American.

I was in Frankfurt Germany airport August of last year on my way back to the US. I went to duty free to buy some tsokolate(chocolate) for of course, myself. I went in line to pay the goodies and behind the cashier's counter was a hunky, tall, dark and still dark and tall guy speaking German to the guy in front of me. And guess what!?!?!? Pinoy ang lolo mo! (He is a Filipino!) And as expected, being the stingy person that I am, I asked him if he can give me a discount and he politely said: Gaga! Hindi to Pilipinas! (You fool! This is not the Philippines) After he said that, my instinct was affirmed. Judingels ang lolo mo! (He is gay!) hahahahaha. The bottom line is, we learn languages fast. Cultural Immersion is something we can cope up with easily making it easy for us to learn a foreign language.

3. Pinoys dress up better than Americans.

The reason why the US is so popular in terms of Designer clothes is simply because they NEED it more than we do for heaven sake. Jeeezzz, walk in the streets of LA, New York, Chicago, San Francisco, Quiapo (sorry Quiapo is in the Philippines, my bad) and you'll see those Kano with like baggy sweat pants, over sized tops, etc. We definitely dress better than they do. PERIOD.

I could go on forever and tell you guys what other things PINOYS can do better than KANO but I'll stop here for the moment and let you do your acting 101 excercise. OK?

Lemme know your thoughts about this too, feel free to voice out your comments on this topic most specially if you are PINOY!

Hugs,

Morrise

When She is a He - The Art of Cross Dressing

"She's so gorgeous! She's so pretty! She's so sexy! She is so... OH holy cow, she is a HE???!!!!!"

I have lots and I mean lots of gay friends and trying-to-be gay friends...hahahaha... And I LOVE THEM to death. They are fun, outgoing, funny, pretty(sometimes prettier than real girls no offense just telling the truth girls), real, and you can have all the gay-related adjectives lined up here like fabulous, hot... jeeezzz, so gay... hahahahaha. Oh well what can we do, we are indeed fab to the nth degree!

The main character of this blog is a very good friend of mine - let's just call him/her WATERLILLY. Waterlilly and I met in a bar in Philly called: WOODYS. I was sitting down in the club bench while my "i-don't-give a -fuck" friends are dancing to the tune of I wanna Dance with somebody(remix) when all of a sudden I heard a heavenly and angelic voice not to forget a pretty face: "HI, My name is Waterlilly. What's yours?" I smiled and replied: "HI, I'm Seaweed!" hahahahaha. The rest is history as far as our friendship is concerned.

Before I completely miss the point of this blog Waterlilly is a Cross dresser. Time to jot down some notes - Gay 101 defines cross-dressing as the act if wearing clothing commonly associated with another gender within a particular society. To make it simple, imagine your dad dressed as a woman like that of your mom - ewwwww scary! Erase that thought.

I, personally believe (imagine Ms. Teen South Carolina talking) that cross-dressing is an art by itself. I mean I should know because I have hands on experience on it. To put it bluntly, I have cross dressed - and I look damn hot in it! Want some proof, email me and I can send you my pics! Bwahahaha

Why is it an art? Because it's like sculpting and painting. Imagine your own face as the canvas and say MAC (which by the way has the best eye lash primer - I mean it gives your lashes the body and length and boom goodbye false eye lashes and hello tantalizing eyes!), Lancome or Bobby Brown are your paints and brushes and to make a beauty out of your hopeless face is like DaVinci painting the Monalisa (just don't take years in putting on the make up like it took DaVinci to finish the Monalisa). I swear to God choosing the right colors, the right tone of foundation, the right brush to use takes more than just mix and matching. It takes imagination, creativity, fabulousness and a sift of gayness! That reason alone gives cross-dressing the "Best in ART award" from my beauty institute.

Wait! It's not done yet! It's just the face. How about the hair? I mean the WIG. Choosing the right wig style and cut is VERY important. It should compliment the shape of your face. If your face is like that of Sponge Bob my advice to you is - you're hopeless and forget about cross-dressing. Try jumping off the Benjamin Franklin Bridge. But seriously, and this applies to you girls. The hairstyle is very important be it on wig or on your real hair! For more tips on hairstyle, send me your mug shot, I mean your photo, and I will tell you what hairstyle fits you.

Next - the Dress! Ooopppsss and not to forget the paddings...hahahaha. Waterlilly is a very good example of an excellent cross dresser. For one thing, he/she/it knows what dress compliments him/her/it. hahahaha. Ok homos, reality check! Most cross-dressing "men" do not realize the fact that we (including me) are not so blessed with the SHAKIRA HIPS that women have. Having said that, if you are not using any paddings, then for gayness-sake, DO NOT and I swear to Dr. Martin Luther King (it's his day today) I will pull your wig out of your dandruff-filled head if you DO - DO NOT wear tight dresses that show off your non coca-cola figure! It's very unflattering! Wear something that hugs your fake boobs/duct-taped boobs/perhaps your silicone-injected breast and is kinda sorta flowing dress. An empire cut is a good example. And if you ever decide to put on a figure hugging dress, then run to the closest K-Mart and buy some paddings, did I make myself clear?

Accessories - make sure you choose the right accessories like your earrings, bracelets, bags, purse, etc. Don't over accessorize and look like a $1 hooker.

I have attached a picture of waterlilly for your entertainment. Enjoy him/her/it.

Till next time Folks!

Hugs,

Morrise